The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory
by Ashurato
Summary: Several lifetimes and they still remain connected by the cruel ties of Fate. Will the next life be any different? Or will they fall to tragedy once again? Kaito/Len, Gakupo/Len, others hinted. Warning: Character death. Based on VanaN'Ice works.
1. First Life : Setsugetsuka I

The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- First Life : Setsugetsuka (Part One) -

* * *

Kaito knew that Kabukicho was the last place a person like him should be sneaking off to. As the only son of the Shion daimyo of Yonezawa, it was expected that his year at court was to be spent bringing honor to his clan, learning how to rule his estate, and finding a future bride. But reality was a far cry from the ideal. It was already expected that his time would actually be spent with his empty head in the clouds, avoiding his duties, and running away from every available woman he was introduced to.

His title stifled him, but Kaito knew that it was both a privilege and a curse that he was born into. It took all of his power to keep himself up to date with his responsibilities and yet retain what meager amount of freedom he had left. Sometimes, it was too much for even his gentle nature to stand.

It was then that Kaito decided that if he was to spend the next year of his life deeply entrenched in the power struggle within the castle, he would take this time to preserve what little sanity remained with him.

"Just one night," Kaito whispered as he crept slowly in the shadows next to a large inn. It was only by chance that he and his attendants were passing through Kabukicho, but Kaito knew that it was an opportunity that he could not ignore. Even more pressing was the looming figure of the shogun's palace that would soon be within view. He did not have much time left.

With this knowledge, Kaito abandoned his formal clothes for flashier attire better suited for the red-light district. It was not that he wanted to be noticed, but he knew that it would allow him to better fit in among the butterflies of the night.

The dark sky was devoid of the moon, covered by clouds with the promise of rain, but the many glowing red lanterns that were the district's namesake more than made up for the lack of natural light. Both residents and visitors milled about, resplendent in their best finery to either attract a customer or display their own wealth. In this sense, Kaito thought that it was not much different from the crowd of nobles in the palace with their rich clothes, golden trinkets, and mile-long entourages. And like the palace, the wrong word to the wrong person could result in a sword buried deep in the offender's gut.

But unlike nobility, people here could at least look each other in the eyes.

Kaito turned his face towards the wall when he saw two of his retainers pass by. They were sent out earlier to track him down, but Kaito saw that their faces were flushed more from alcohol than exertion. When they entered one of the many brothels in the area and did not come out for several minutes, Kaito breathed a sigh of relief and finally stepped out from the shadows.

"Now where shall I go?"

* * *

Tonight was just like any other night at Murasaki, Gakupo's establishment. The rooms were bright, rowdy, and filled with people who were looking to have a good time. But unlike any other night, the master of the most well known brothel in the Kabukicho district was not present. In fact, he was in a larger but less prestigious inn down another street. But obscure as it was, he had heard rumors that it was growing rapidly enough to threaten his prominence.

He reclined languidly and lifted a kiseru to his lips, drawing smoke into his lungs lazily, but his eyes were sharp on the alert. The girls who served the other high-paying customers around him were even more beautiful and poised than he expected, but that alone should not have enough of an effect on his patrons. He was here to find a secret and he was not going to leave until he found the answer he was seeking.

A shadow passed in front of him, blocking his view of a curtained stage and he raised his gaze to meet inquiring but guarded blue-green eyes. Long hair the color of new spring cherry blossoms and arranged with gold and red colored kanzashi crowned the woman who stood before him. Her colorful layered kimono, which would normally be elevated due to the added height her koma-geta provided, flowed artfully to the tatami covered floor. She was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen, but perfection was marred by the displeased frown that graced her perfectly painted lips. "Good evening, Luka-dono."

Luka and Gakupo were childhood acquaintances but never quite friends. Their personalities and beliefs conflicted too highly too allow for such amicable relations. It had been years since the last time they had directly spoken, but their names were all-too familiar in Kabukicho: Gakupo was the young and charming owner of Murasaki, and Luka was the most sought-after and highly-priced tayuu in all of Edo. But despite their less than cordial relationship, they respected each other enough not to step on each other's toes-that is, until the talk turned to business.

"May I ask about your unexpected patronage here, Gakupo-dono? I hope you are not here to treat my workers in the same fashion you have imposed on your own property. This is not a brothel and I will not tolerate any such conduct here," said Luka as she snapped the fan she was holding closed and coldly looked down at him. It was not wise to antagonize one of the most powerful men of Kabukicho, but this was her castle, her workers, and her rules. She would defy the shogun himself if he should dare belittle her authority within her property.

At Luka's words, Gakupo's eyebrows shot up nearly to his hairline in surprise.

"Your property?" he asked with a hint of disbelief. It was not impossible for a woman to run a business in Kabukicho, but it was exceedingly rare. Even less common was a mistress of Luka's young age and stunning beauty. But perhaps not so rare as he happened to recall the scandalous news of a tayuu who was left with a deluge of money from a venerable older customer who had since passed away. Having paid her debt, it was rumored that the tayuu was allowed to retire early two years ago. "Ah, so that explains why the flowers in your garden remain unplucked and fresh from the morning dew. Your frigid charm and popularity is known throughout all of Edo, my lady. Tell me then, is your esteemed company the reason why customers these days prefer the cold breath of winter to the warm touch of a lover?"

Luka avoided the barbs and raised the crimson fan to her lips to hide her smile; however, her tone remained poisonous. "Innocence turns better profits and deeper addiction than the wanton lust and drugged fantasies that your shop offers."

Gakupo laughed. "Please excuse me if I find that impossible. There is nothing innocent in this town any longer."

"Think as you like," replied Luka as she turned her heel and walked away from him. "But you might find yourself retracting your words very shortly."

* * *

Kaito tentatively peered out from the other side of the shoji screen to watch his frantic servants as they ran up and down the street in search of him. He was able to freely wander about for several hours, but the unique color of his hair and the uncommonly fine quality of his clothes served as ample identification. His features were distinct enough to be easily identified even while bathed in crimson light.

And thus, he found himself running along alleyways, darkened streets and finally was forced to take refuge in the back of a nondescript inn. All he had to do was wait for his attendants to move to another street and he would then be able to leave without anyone the wiser of his shameless trespassing. Unfortunately, his attendants were proving to be more indefatigable than he previously assumed. It was no wonder that they were the ones his father had chosen to accompany him on the journey. At this rate, he may have to stay where he was for the remainder of the night.

"Customers are forbidden from entering from the back, sir," said a soft but clipped voice. "Please enter through the front door like everyone else."

Kaito spun around in fright before he slid to the floor and pressed a hand over his wildly beating heart. He thought that he had been found, but with a second glance, the person before him looked nothing like his pursuers. The young girl behind the wooden screen in front of him was dressed as a perfomer-most likely owned rather than employed by the inn he had stepped into. She wore a white kimono under a vermilion hakama. A black obi trimmed with gold encircled her tiny waist and fell to the floor along with the white and lavender furisode sleeves that covered her arms. A wooden flute peeked out from her right sleeve. Her astonishing golden hair was cut unusually short and her skin was very pale, but despite her unconventional visage, all Kaito could see was the black cloth that covered her eyes from the world. "I-I'm sorry for trespassing, but I mean no harm. I was being chased by someone and had to hide until they passed. Oh, but I'm not a criminal or anything like that—"

The young girl's lips turned up in the slightest of smiles. "I did not accuse you of anything, sir. I was only requesting that you enter through the front door." Kaito opened his mouth to apologize once again, but the girl lifted up a hand that held a closed golden fan. "I will keep this a secret this one time as I do not feel that you are lying and appear genuinely distressed. Please follow me."

"I appreciate your help, but how can I...?" Kaito pointed to the wooden screen that separated them before dropping his hand when he realized the futility of his gesture. His savior did not appear to be capable of sight. She was like a lark, kept in a covered golden cage away from the prying eyes of the rabble. Too trusting and inexperienced with humanity's vices to suspect the worst in people.

It made Kaito's chest throb painfully.

"That corridor is normally used as a secret escape passage for nobles who come here without the permission of their wives. Your path lies parallel with my own. Just walk next to me as if there was no barrier separating us, but please be quick as I have matters to attend to." The golden-haired girl child pointed to the shadowed path to Kaito's left and took a step forward. Kaito quickly followed.

They walked in silence, immersed in their own thoughts as they traversed the empty halls. Unlike garish crimson veil outside, only the soft, dusky glow of candlelight brightened their path. The girl's attention was focused on the path ahead, but Kaito only had eyes for her. Soon, his damned curiosity voiced itself into words.

"Please pardon me if I may seem rude, but it astonishes me that you are able to navigate through these halls without being able to see," said Kaito in a demure voice that his father would have reprimanded him for using.

"It is not that I am unable to see," the girl replied. _It is that I choose not to_. "People rely too much on sight that they fail to distinguish the difference between what is real and what is expected."

"I—"

The girl stopped just before a leaf-colored silk curtain that led to the front of the inn and turned towards Kaito. "A strip of cloth over my eyes is enough for people assume that I am blind. However, they do not realize that they would be able to see the world much more vividly if they discard that which betrays them in the first place."

Kaito's breath caught at his throat, but he forced the words out. "But why do you need to do such a thing?"

Silence fell between them again, but this time, it was the girl who spoke first. "It is not to deceive anyone. I do it for myself. When a gilded cage is all you know, the closest thing you have to freedom is to not see the bars that trap you.

"This is as far as I can take you."

Kaito bit his lip as what almost felt like shame colored his face. Although a small part of him did feel slightly misled, it was due to his own assumptions. He had no right to blame her over something that was born from his own misconceptions. And yet despite his discomfort, he found himself riveted to every word that fell from his companion's lips. "M-may I please have your name?"

It was the girl's turn to hesitate as she turned her covered eyes toward him and pushed the curtain aside. "... It would not be wise for me to give it."

"Please..." Kaito's voice was so quiet that if not for the total silence, it would not have been audible.

The child paused for a moment as if locked in an internal struggle between obedience and her own misgivings. "... Len."

"Len-dono..." Kaito breathed the name as if it was an exotic perfume. It was like a drug, both intoxicating and infinitely dangerous. "My name is Kaito and... may I see you again?"

"You would not want to," said Len as she stepped through the door on her side. "It is best if you forget this meeting."

"I would never—"

"I am not a woman, Kaito-dono. Have a good night," said Len with a chiding voice as he quietly allowed the cloth to fall back into place and made his way to the stage.

Kaito froze where he stood, but his thoughts churned violently. Although he had been just been lectured regarding appearances and thought that he was prepared for anything, he found his learning still deficient mere seconds later. It took longer for him to regroup his thoughts, but when he managed to push the screen that blocked his path aside, Kaito's blue eyes were resolute and his mind was clearer than he could ever remember. He knew that any decision he would make would be the incorrect one, but as he turned his attention to the stage, the only thing that filled his senses was the color of gold.

"Len-dono, I would sooner see flowers bloom on the moon than forget you."

* * *

Two hours had passed since Gakupo had arrived at Luka's inn, but he found no girls of extraordinary worth aside from the mistress herself. During this time, more patrons had arrived to fill the room. Some of his former regular customers who recognized him for who he was guiltily glanced at his direction with great trepidation. Gakupo would normally have confronted them as to what in his shop was so lacking that it would drive them to seek other means of entertainment, but he practiced restraint. More than anything, he was baffled as to why the tension in the room was so high when his discerning eyes failed to see anything that could possibly evoke such great interest. The women were beautiful, the food was delicious, and the sake was refreshing, but these were qualities that his own establishment was rife with.

He only spared a glance toward the stage before he stood up, leaving more than enough gold coins to cover his expenses and made to leave. But as he made to exit, a slight movement to his right caught his attention. A tall young man appeared from behind a shoji screen, but he did not appear to be employed by the establishment. He had hair the color of the ocean and his posture did not radiate the tired, resigned nature of those who worked in the red light district. Then, familiarity dawned in Gakupo's mind.

_There is only only clan who bears that shade of blue..._ Gakupo's eyes widened slightly in surprise when he recognized the man to be the only son of daimyo Shion.

The daimyo's son did not appear to be concerned by where he was or what type of scandal could strike by his mere presence in Kabukicho should he be recognized. Instead, his full attention was riveted toward the stage as if the answer to the meaning of life hid behind the curtains.

_What is someone like him doing here?_ Gakupo's eyebrow rose questioningly. _This is very unusual._

His interest piqued once again, Gakupo settled himself down, refilled and lit his kiseru. He made to raise the pipe to his lips, but the smug look that he saw on Luka's face from across the room stopped the motion. Then, all thought was wiped from his mind when he saw the curtains part to make way for a slender figure who held a fan in one hand.

_This must be..._ Gakupo's moment of reflection was shattered as the figure gracefully drew the hand holding the golden fan away from their face to reveal a child with doll-like features and wheat-yellow hair. A black sash hid the color of their eyes from the audience.

It was beautiful... _and wrong!_

Gakupo's kiseru dropped to the ground, spilling tobacco ashes across the clean tatami mat that he laid upon. And for once in the violet-haired man's life, he could not have cared less about his image. If anyone was an expert on sensuality of the human flesh, it was Gakupo. And at that moment, despite the bright silks, graceful movement, and young complexion of the being that stood before him, his mind only screamed one thing.

_That child is a boy!_

And yet knowing that fact, he could only watch, bewitched as the dancer glided across the stage, at one moment as calm as a stream and the next as animated as a caged bird that has been freed. The audience held their breaths in quiet anticipation as if a single movement would shatter the illusion and reveal that the dancer was nothing more than colored smoke.

The boy-child was almost otherworldly. He did not perform for his audience-the covering of his eyes told that clearly. It did not matter if he danced for the poorest man in Edo or the shogun himself. He danced in a world that was only colored in black. His performance was not perfect, but each step of his foot and every wave of his fan expressed his emotions as evidently as if he shouted them at the top of his lungs.

_"Although caged, I have not been broken."_

_"I will forever be beyond your touch."_

_"No physical thing in this world would make me cower in fear."_

_"I am not as I appear to be."_

Although he could not see, the boy was truly, clearly alive. More alive and passionate than anyone Gakupo could remember ever seeing.

Gakupo knew that he was affected despite knowing that the child before him was male. But before he could lose even more of his heart, he remembered the detail that held his interest mere minutes before. He mustered every bit of resistance left in his mind and glanced at the blue-haired heir of Shion.

What he saw almost caused him to growl viciously.

* * *

Fate was once again making a plaything out of him. Kaito knew that he should have left the inn as soon as he parted ways with Len, forgotten what had happened as the boy suggested, and continued on with his life without looking back. However, Kaito knew that doing such a thing would be like forcing a fish to breathe on land. It was no longer possible. And as he stood in the shadows and watched Len on the stage, his hands clenched to his sides.

So this was how it was like to fall into madness.

He watched the last wave of Len's fan. He watched Len step back after the performance was completed. He watched the curtains fall until he could not longer see his small guide. He watched long after people had left.

What he did not notice was that he was not the only one.

"Yonezawa no bocchan, I hope that you had enjoyed the performance. However, I must ask for you to return back to the inn."

Kaito's trance was shattered when he came face-to-face with four of his most vigilant guards. He stiffened and cursed himself for losing track of both the time and his surroundings. He thought to escape, but both the situation and the simple fact that he was sorely outnumbered quickly negated the thought from his mind. "I—"

"May I ask what is going on here? I do not take kindly to trouble-makers." Luka's brows knit together in annoyance as two of her sentinel-like guards stood behind her, their hands lightly upon the sheathed kodachi at their waists. She pointed her fan at each of the four Shion attendants. "I would appreciate it if you would unhand my customer."

"Mistress, we are simply here to fetch our lord. We will leave shortly," said the leader of the guards as he and the other three surrounded Kaito whose misery increased by the second. He bowed his apologies to Luka, but his eyes warily watched the two guards at her side. "You will not see us again. Kaito-sama, we must leave."

Luka opened her mouth to protest, but Gakupo's voice chimed in for her. "It does not bode well for people like him to wander around in such a dangerous area. Who knows what kind of temptations could lead such a noble man astray? It is best if you make your way to your destination soon as I heard that a storm is brewing on the horizon."

"We will take your advice," replied another of the guards with a nod. He then turned towards Kaito with a strict expression on his face and began to usher the young lord out. "This is not a place for you, Kaito-sama."

"No-!" Kaito made to protest as he turned a pleading look towards the stage, hoping to catch one last glimpse of Len. However, his guards were unyielding and he found himself almost forcibly dragged outside.

The glare that Luka shot in Gakupo's direction could have melted steel, but it was quickly tempered with confusion. The long-haired man was well-known in Kabukicho to be affable and unbiased (if a little self-centered), so to see him act in such a closed manner was disconcerting. "Why were you so harsh on that young man, Gakupo-dono? What could he have possibly done to earn your scorn?"

"That man is Shion Kaito, the future daimyo of Yonezawa." Gakupo crossed his arms over his chest and smiled the thinnest of smiles. "A noble."

The confused look on Luka's face instantaneously froze up into something akin to hatred. The only thing more famous in Edo than Luka's beauty was her distaste for the ruling class. After all, she was the child of a noble who had fallen from grace—a daughter sold so that the father could survive. But her expression cooled just as quickly and she raised her fan to cover the momentary slip of her mask.

She had made peace with her demons long ago. If becoming a tayuu in Kabukicho taught her anything, it was that not all people are equal. That applied to both those of the ruling class and those who scavenged for scraps on the streets. "He watched my Len like a thirsty man sees an oasis."

"Len?" asked Gakupo mildly, but it took all of his willpower not to breathe the name like a man possessed.

All of the pessimism seemed to melt from Luka's countenance and her guards removed their hands from their weapons as they sensed their mistress relax. "My little golden bird."

Gakupo's eyes narrowed with growing anger. "He is a boy, Luka-dono. Why is he dressed in such a fashion? There are regulations to follow when it comes to employing kagema, mistress. He does not belong in this type of establishment."

"Len is nothing of the sort! Do not dare even associate his name with those of kagema in the same sentence!" snapped Luka vehemently, barely suppressing the desire to strike Gakupo's mouth with the heavy fan in her hands. "And I know better than anyone that such a child does not belong here!"

"Then why—?"

Silence stretched between the two of them and Gakupo's unfinished question lingered in the air. Although he tried to control his face, Luka could read the same attraction that was more clearly evident in the young lord's face from earlier. She could not see the future, but she knew that someone was going to be hurt in the end.

Luka sighed before she waved her guards away and gestured for Gakupo to follow her down the same dim corridor that the blue-haired young lord had appeared from. From beyond the separation of the screen, Gakupo saw Len as he stood in front of a barred window at the other side of the room. The boy did not move or speak and looked akin to a doll if not for the memory of the vivid motions of his dance earlier.

When Luka spoke again, her voice was soft and for violet-haired man's ears alone. "Len and his sister were orphans whose parents were killed by bandits as they were returning from a pilgrimage to Ise. I found the two siblings alone in the back of this inn only a few days before we first opened. They were tired, wounded, hungry, and half frozen to death. I took pity on them and brought them in."

"A sister?"

"Yes, a older twin," said Luka with a sorrowful smile. "She opened her eyes only once, laughed, and told me that as thanks for saving them, she will stay here and dance for me and my guests. Then she closed her eyes and never opened them again. We sent off her spirit with the funeral rites as best we could, but Len would still not wake.

"When Len finally woke up a full week later, he was understandably distraught. He stayed in this room for a full month without a word, barely eating and sleeping. When he could not cry anymore, he came out wearing his sister's clothes and promising to fulfill her wishes."

Gakupo approached the ornate screen, his eyes fever-bright as he watched Len—broken yet undeterred—through the separation. "He is staying here of his own volition?"

"He is here to earn his keep and to pay for the funeral rites that was arranged for his twin. He has more than repaid the debt, but he continues to remain for his sister's pledge." Luka's gaze was tender, but turned calculating as the rival owner continued to watch her charge with fascination. "And I do not have the heart to turn him away. But I still hope that one day, he will free himself from this self-imposed cage and allow someone to help him see the light again.

"And young lord Shion is showing signs of being that person."

The ferocity with which Gakupo whirled to face her was astounding and unexpected. Luka was perturbed by the intensity of the jealousy that radiated from the handsome man's figure—all over a young boy he has never even spoken to.

"Who is to say that person cannot be me, Luka-dono?" asked Gakupo with as much composure has he could muster between grit teeth. His hands were clenched into fists at his side, but despite the fanatic air that tinged his tone, the eyes that met Luka's were sincere and full of resolve.

"I will not allow it."

"May I ask why?"

"That should be my question, Gakupo-dono." Luka was amazed by the sheer nerve of the man to so bluntly proclaim his desires, but she then remembered to whom she was speaking to. "Your reputation is quite well known-as is what 'services' are offered at your establishment. I will not have an innocent boy thrown among wolves and whores to simply satisfy your curiosities. I care about Len as if he was my own child and I will not have him tainted by the stigma that being attached to your affairs ultimately brings."

For the first time, Gakupo felt shame from another's words. But he would not be deterred. "I understand. But would you at least allow me to speak with Len?"

"And I ask again, why should I allow it?"

"I've fallen in love with him."

"You've known of his existence for but an hour!" Luka hissed at the audacity of the statement. "You cannot expect me to believe you."

Gakupo smiled. "I don't expect you to."

Luka paused for a moment as she analyzed him with doubtful eyes. She did not trust Gakupo, but even stronger than her cautious nature was her longing to see Len remove his blindfold and truly smile for the first time. If it meant allowing this libertine associate with him, then so be it. "I will allow it so long as Len himself has no qualms. You will keep your hands to yourself and someone else will be in the room at all times. If you should attempt even the most miniscule form of force on him, I will run you through."

"It is more than I anticipated for you to allow."

* * *

It was days before Kaito was able to escape from his retainers who learned from his last disappearance and were more attentive than before. But watching the young lord soon became routine once again and his lack of disobedience made them careless. When Kaito saw an opportunity to flee under the cover of night, he did not hesitate and crept past his guards.

Unfortunately for him, the dreary weather from his first escape had only worsened and light, needle-like rain covered the area. Undeterred, Kaito pressed on until he reached the back of the same inn he took shelter in before. Len's inn. He breathed a sigh of relief as he wiped the water from his face and eyes with his sleeves, uncaring of his treatment of the expensive fabric. "With weather like this, I do not know if I should feel lucky or cursed. I must be mad to attempt something like this when I've already been warned."

"Do you regularly exhibit such irresponsible behavior or is today a special day, sir?"

Kaito whipped around while pressing a hand over his wildly beating heart at the suddenness of the voice. In his rush, he slipped and fell on his posterior, further caking mud on his clothing. But at that moment, the current state of his looks was the last thing on his mind as he gazed up at the blindfolded face that looked down at him from the barred window. He gave a light laugh, blushing at being caught unawares by the very person he came to see. "I like to think that I'm adventurous."

The tiniest hint of an amused smile escaped from the perpetually straight line of Len's mouth. He then extended white hands towards the taller man from the other side of the bars. "Good evening, Kaito-dono."

"Good evening, Len-dono. And please, I do not want to dirty your hand as I am currently covered with the entire countryside," said Kaito ruefully as he shook mud from his blue hair.

"It is only right to help someone up who has fallen down," replied Len matter-of-factly.

Kaito stared at the unblemished hands and fought against the further reddening of his face. There was another reason he did not want to reach out for them, but to spare Len's disappointment, he gingerly took the proffered hands and quickly got back on his feet. But as he fearfully anticipated, he felt no desire to let them go once he had regained his balance. "T-thank you."

Len made to pull his hands back, but the other man's trembling grip stopped his motion. It was a cold night, but Kaito's quivering did not seem to have anything to do with the temperature. As Kaito did not appear to want to break the silence, Len spoke first. "May I ask your reason for being here, sir?"

"I—" Kaito bit his lip as the words threatened to rush out. "I wanted to see you."

Len's brows furrowed together in confusion. "Kaito-dono, I mentioned the last time we met that I am not a woman."

"Yes, I—I am aware of that fact," said Kaito haltingly, but his hold on Len's hands was no longer trembling. The younger man's touch was enough to warm his whole being. "And knowing that fact, I still cannot help but come and see you."

"Sir, as I said before, customers should—"

"Len, I do not want you to think of me as a customer," said Kaito, purposefully dropping the honorific. He was delighted to see the younger man's face tint a lovely pink at the unexpected turn of events.

Len did not expect to be flustered by the suddenly audacious man. "Kaito-dono, this is not possible. I have my responsibilities as I assume you have your own. My standing in this world prevents such associations."

With those words, Kaito felt the sharp prickling of guilt in the area where his heart should be. He knew that it was foolish of him to do this and to even be where he currently was. But the irony was that Len, with his eyes covered from the world, was the only one who could see him behind the screen of nobility. "I believe my irresponsible behavior—as you yourself mentioned—excuses me from such strict distinctions."

The shadow of mirth that hovered over Len's countenance manifested itself into soft laughter. Len was inwardly stunned by how foreign the sound that poured from his lips resonated, but there was little he could do to stop when it came involuntarily. It seemed so long that he had laughed after depriving himself of any such pleasurable diversions that he had grown to believe himself incapable of the action.

Kaito's attention was fixed upon the pink lips from which the unexpected laughter emanated from. It was all he could do to reign in his longing and dissolve what affection he shared with the younger boy. When Len composed himself once again, he smiled sadly as the hands he was holding gently slipped out of his hold. He knew that he could not keep holding them forever, but he could not help but dream. He could not stay for much longer.

"I have not laughed in so long that I have forgotten that I am capable of it. Thank you, Kaito-dono."

It was Kaito's turn to laugh quietly. "That is not something to thank me for, Len. But perhaps before I go…"

"Yes?"

"Can you please play your flute for me?" said Kaito, referring to the instrument that he had seen when they first me. He then bowed his head, expecting to be rejected immediately. After his voiced request, Len stood so still that Kaito feared that he had unknowingly offended him.

The smile that appeared on Len's face was still guarded, but warmer than before as he retrieved the instrument from his sleeve. "As you wish."

* * *

"_Rin…"_

_That night, Len found that laughter was not the only capability that has returned to him._

_Tears he had long refused to shed soaked his sleeves as if assaulted by the falling rain._

* * *

Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

- I hold no rights to Vocaloid or the songs therein.

- This story has been simmering in my mind since last year. I know I still have a ton of fics to finish up, but I have to get this down or it will just rot in the back of my mind and drive me crazy. We're going to travel through a sort-of timeline VanaN'Ice's songs [Setsugetsuka, LOVELESSxxx, Imitation Black, Fate:Rebirth, Arrest Rose, and now tentatively culminating with Sakura Maichirinu -Rei- (natsup, you break my heart)]. Each song will act as a lifetime and I tried to put them in some type of historical order that made sense to me (aside for Imitation and Fate, but I have reasons for that particular succession).


	2. First Life : Setsugetsuka II

The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- First Life : Setsugetsuka (Part Two) -

* * *

It rained for days as the season slowly made way for the year's first snow. When the weather finally cleared, it was already the full moon and the violet-haired man could no longer delay.

There was much Gakupo wanted to say, but instead of the image of the suave charmer that was his trademark, he found himself tongue-tied and stiff as a board as he stood before door of Luka's inn. In his arms was a bouquet of rare yellow and red lilies, a baffling luxury to have when winter was so near. But he paid no heed to the questioning stares that were being sent his way and raised a hand to slide the shoji screen aside.

But before he could complete the action, someone from inside had done it for him and he immediately came face to face with the one person he was not ready to see.

Luka's appraising stare quickly turned into glare when she saw who graced the entrance of her property. She almost wished it had been the imperial tax collectors instead. Gakupo was not someone she trusted, especially not with Len, and had no reservations in making it apparent to him. She eyed the flowers he brought with utter exasperation and thought him to be a mindless fool, but she had already given her word. Sighing, she stepped aside to let him through. "Good evening, Gakupo-dono. Welcome to my establishment."

Gakupo released the breath he was holding in a fog of white. He was taken aback by the almost courteous greeting and tentatively shuffled inside. "Good evening, Luka-dono. I thank you for accommodating my selfish request before your opening hours."

"Please try not to make a habit of it," replied Luka warmly, but her words made no secret of the inconvenience. "But I do appreciate that you arrived earlier than expected. I will be your chaperone for today."

"I did not want to inconvenience your business by taking your attention away when your patrons are present."

Luka waved her hand in a gesture that told him that that was irrelevant. She turned a smile to him that was reminiscent of the snarl of a she-wolf. "Oh no, it is simply more advantageous to have less witnesses should I be forced to gut you where you stand."

Gakupo felt the hairs at the back of his neck stand on end and swallowed with difficulty at her words. He did not expect to feel such intimidation from the slight woman.

To anyone else watching, their conversation could have sounded like teasing banter between two friendly associates, but the steel in Luka's eyes and the tension in her visitor's movements proved otherwise. As the two stared each other down, the various other tayuu and workers of Luka's inn snuck furtive glances as they went about their business. Since Gakupo's last visit, rumors had run rampant through all of Kabukicho regarding his strange relationship with the stately mistress, but all were careful not to let the slightest whisper of an innuendo reach their ears.

Realizing that their continued presence at front door was beginning to attract attention, Luka gestured for Gakupo to follow her to the stage. Behind the heavy silk drapes and paper dividers was a leaf-green curtain that led toward the back of the inn. In contrast to the bright, lively atmosphere of the inn's main hall, the rear of the stage was quite secluded and only glowed from the somber candles that burned from their holders. Aside from the sharp crackling of the candle flame and their soft footsteps, only the melancholy sound of a flute was audible.

They wound their way down the single corridor for what Gakupo felt like eternity until they arrived at a small but comfortable tatami-floored room. The room was sparse in furniture with only a candle lamp, wooden chest, and low table as its main effects. An empty vase decorated the table and lightly perfumed smoke rose from the incense burner under a large barred window. But the space did not want of color, for the flute player upon the windowsill was painted with the most vibrant gold, white, and crimson.

Gakupo's breath caught as the music stopped and Len lowered the instrument from his lips, red from his performance, having sensed that he was no longer alone. He watched and gathered what willpower he had not to melt as the young boy turned his face and regarded them behind his blindfold.

Never had Gakupo so loathed a damned strip of cloth.

Luka shuffled forward as Len stood up to greet her and tenderly cupped his cold cheeks with her pale hands. The adoration in her expression seemed so alien to Gakupo who was only familiar with her glares of annoyance and half-lidded gazes of intense scrutiny. But to the boy she treasured as her own child, the only description that came to mind was 'loving'.

"Good evening, Luka-sama," whispered the boy's in a chiming adolescent tone as he covered her hands with his own, the flute still clutched in his right. If Gakupo were anyone else, he would have felt shame for his interest in a boy so young. But he was resolute.

"I am happy to hear your flute again after so long without... but the snow has begun to fall, Len. You should keep your window closed to stay warm."

"I am sorry... but I feel that if I cannot see the sky, she won't be able to hear me."

After so many months, Luka believed that she had learned to better to school her emotions, but now, she felt her heart break once again. She slowly slid her hands from his face and flashed Gakupo a pointed glare, a silent warning to maintain a proper distance and to make sure that not a single strand of his hair was out of line. "A visitor has requested your company, Len. Will you allow him to speak with you for a short while? You can refuse if you would prefer not to."

Gakupo thought that despite Len's covered eyes, the young boy was still able to see right through him with complete clarity. It was discomforting, but it attracted him all the same. He slowly approached the two but kept a respectable separation as he was warned. "Good evening, Len-dono. My name is Gakupo and I apologize for intruding upon your solitude. I only request a brief moment of your time."

Luka raised an eyebrow in amazement. She never thought that the man known to be the most notorious heartbreaker in Edo could ever utter such humble words. But at the moment, he appeared to acquiesce to her counsel and she allowed the threatening rigidity of her posture to ease into a more protective nature. She moved behind Len and reclined upon the windowsill, mirroring the earlier state that they had found him in. Her attention appeared to shift focus to the view outside, but she was sharply aware of every detail of what came to pass within the room.

If he had not been blindfolded, the look of confusion on Len's face would have been more apparent. Hidden from view, he did not appear to have the remotest reaction to the unexpected visitor. This was not the first time that a customer had requested to meet with him, but this was the first time that Luka had conceded. It was enough to pique both his curiosity and his suspicion. He bowed low enough to be polite, but not too low as he could sense that his mistress was still skeptical of the man. "Good evening, sir. I apologize for not being more accommodating and offer you tea, but I appear to have been caught unawares. Please make yourself comfortable."

Comfort was the last thing on Gakupo's mind as he gave Len the same smile that continued to enthrall half of Edo's most beautiful women into his arms. He held out the lilies to the young boy but cursed himself when he realized that regardless of how beautiful the flowers were, their charms were lost to those who could not see. "On the contrary, Len-dono, it is I who is so conceited that I would stop by without prior notice. Please accept these flowers as a token of my deepest affection."

Luka snorted in an unladylike manner at the violet-haired man's overly formal tone, but she hid the sound behind her fan and gave no further indication that she was listening. Len, even without sight, was capable of handling himself against pretty words.

Len took the flowers from Gakupo's hold with unexpected precision for one who appeared to be blind. He gently touched a yellow petal before carefully laying them down on the table. He then pointed a hand to an embroidered cushion at the other side of the table and only knelt upon his own after Gakupo had settled himself down. Gakupo wondered just exactly how much the boy could actually see, but quickly dashed the suspicion from his mind. Even those who do not have sight may still maintain the facilities of memory.

"May I inquire regarding the circumstances of your visit?"

"I wanted to meet with you."

"You do not know me."

"But I would like to."

A recent memory stirred in the back of Len's mind, causing him to frown slightly. "I beg your pardon sir, but I believe that I would need to be a willing party for that association to be formed."

"Would you be willing to associate with me?"

"I have no reason to."

This boy was no shrinking violet, thought Gakupo as he mistook the slight downturn of the corners of Len's lips for disapproval. His words had deserted him once again. After what he heard from Luka, he had expected for Len to be more reserved and soft-spoken. Instead, he was confounded by this conundrum-a boy who was straightforward and dauntless, yet able to remain loftily detached. He had been so insistent in requesting an audience, but he had not actually thought about what to say once it had been granted.

Gakupo sighed, not expecting for Len himself to be so dispassionate, and dropped his gaze to the empty vase on the table. He could not approach Len like the other women who have so easily fallen to his feet. "I visited this inn a few days ago, just as the rains started to fall. I was ready to leave, but then you appeared from behind the stage curtains and I could not bring myself to move. It was one of the most fascinating things I have ever seen. I wanted to meet you to confirm that you were not just a figment of my imagination."

"Although our correspondence has been short, I hope that my presence before you confirms that I am indeed human."

If Len's voice had not been so deadpan, the delivery of the words would have been laced with sarcasm. But as it was, Gakupo could not help but think that Len was simply blunt in reply. Gakupo's lips then twitched in amusement.

"Indeed, it has. And I am thankful for it," Gakupo said with a smile. "I would have been too afraid to speak to you if you had turned out to be a spirit. So many of them live on and visit this land that I would not have been surprised if you had turned out to be one."

The guarded frown on Len's face disappeared. "Do they? I have never met one myself, so I do not know if they are real. If they are around me, their voices are too faint for me to hear."

Gakupo fell silent as his mind churned with how to answer. Len was unlike anyone had ever met. Women he charmed in the past often guarded their true selves behind rigid walls. But rigid walls are often brittle and would give way with enough perseverance.

But Len's protection was like a mirror-smooth, cool, and reflective upon what advances upon it. Easily shattered, but when broken, cuts the offender in countless of ways.

"Spirits are everywhere, but oftentimes, the words they speak simply do not translate to words in our ears." Gakupo pulled a yellow lily from the bouquet and—under Luka's close watch—carefully placed it in Len's hand. "Do you know why flowers bloom so much more beautifully in the wild than when grown by human hands? People believe that there is nothing there other than sun, earth, and rain, but there is more to it than what they can see."

"... What about the spirits of those who have already left this world?"

Luka stiffened when she heard Len's question and gazed at Gakupo studiously, but the unwelcoming malice of her earlier temperament only simmered faintly in the background.

"I do not think they ever truly leave this world," replied Gakupo. He was fully aware of what the young boy was alluding to—it was the same reason why Luka's attention had momentarily fixed on him—so he chose his words with care. "After all, on a cloudy day, heaven does not appear too far away."

"It's been a long time since I've seen what the sky looks like." Len's covered eyes rested on the vivid color of the flower, as yellow as his hair, and smiled ever-so-slightly. "What will the spirits think now that you have cut down the flowers that they have been tending to, Gakupo-dono?"

"I assume that they will not think too ill of me. After all, the reason I brought them was because they also wanted to meet you."

When Len gave a short laugh at the answer, Gakupo knew that he was lost. His composure as the notorious womanizer had already been cracked beyond any means of being salvaged. And to his bewilderment, he found that he could not have cared less.

Folly never tasted so sweet.

* * *

In the shogun's palace, Kaito cowered behind the sturdy trunk of a gingko tree. Tutors and matchmakers rushed by in a furor as they called his name with varying degrees of agitation. He had tried his best to be diligent and maintain a tolerant air toward both groups, but after a week pretending, he was close to losing his sanity.

His first thought was to throw himself off the roof of the palace, but he immediately dashed the idea from his mind as too messy and painful a way to die. Then came his repeated attempts at scaling the walls, but the soldiers at the palace proved more than competent and thwarted his plans at every turn.

Kaito felt that sooner or later, he was going to be suffocated by scrolls and then physically chained to the next available noble young lady who showed even the most miniscule interest. He knew how vindictive his honorable father could be should the report of his only son's moronic antics reach his ears.

But the more Kaito dreamed about the other side of his confinement, with the warm golden-haired child who saw the world in black, he could only steel his resolve.

At the moment though, he could only cower in almost comical despondency among the fallen leaves and snow. But soon enough, someone spotted him.

"How long are you going to be hiding behind there? I found this tree first, so find your own!"

Kaito looked up at the sharp tone to see the form of a short haired woman poorly hidden amongst the remaining golden leaves. She looked to be slightly older than Kaito and wore a black kimono under a red hakama. She glared down at him with reproaching eyes. "I'm sorry, I did not realize this tree was already spoken for."

"Shut up!" The woman hissed as she reached down, smacked Kaito on the head and grabbed the back of his kimono before bodily hauling him up into the tree. She then proceeded to repeatedly jab an accusatory finger at his chest as he rubbed his abused head. "What kind of idiot would make that much noise when trying to hide?"

As much as Kaito wanted to, he didn't deign to give the clearly hypocritical censure a response. He only bowed his head and let the woman's complaints flow over him. When she finished her tirade, her tone grew more thoughtful.

"You're Yonezawa daimyo's only son, Shion Kaito."

Kaito blinked in mild surprise. He did not bother correcting her at the lack of an honorific with his name. "You know who I am?"

The woman sighed and shook her head. "No wonder people take you for an idiot," she muttered under her breath. "Those of your family are known for having hair the same color as the ocean. You are a recent arrival and are known to be of marriageable age. Of course people would know you. And isn't it only proper for you to introduce yourself to a lady first?"

"Of course I know that, but why are you telling me this?"

The woman lost her temper. "Who the hell do you think is in front of you, you moron?'

Kaito let out a small whimper as he covered his ears against the volume of her voice. Her personality gave her identity away. "Meiko-dono, your voice is too loud. I can hear you just fine at a lower volume."

"Drop the -dono or I'll drop you from this tree." Lady Sakine Meiko, eldest daughter of Sakine daimyo of Satsuma, sat back on her branch and appraised the younger man before her. Despite her many suitors throughout the years, she was infamous for rejecting all of them. More recently, there was discussion of creating ties between Yonezawa and Satsuma, but seeing the mentioned marriage-prospect before her, Meiko thought that she would rather swallow live coals.

The young lord Shion did not appear to be all that enthusiastic either as he watched the ground for his retainers. "M-Meiko, how long have you been hiding in this tree?"

"Four hours."

Kaito blanched. Although it was just the beginning of winter and the most bitter of winds have not yet arrived, the air and snow were still too crisp to be enjoyed for prolonged periods of time. "Why have you stayed out here for so long? Please go back inside before you fall ill!"

Meiko grimaced. "I would rather freeze to death."

"What could possibly be worse than freezing to death?" gasped Kaito with wide eyes.

"Being forced into a marriage contract with you."

Kaito was about to involuntarily retort that he took offense, but the words died on his tongue as what Meiko said fully registered into his mind. Instead, he glanced up to meet her unimpressed stare, sighed, and nodded. "I understand. I would not want for you to be forced into a marriage contract with me either."

They sat in silence; each lost in their own thoughts but united in their mutual dislike for their current situations. Slowly, a plan took shape in Meiko's head. When it fully formed, she grabbed Kaito by his shoulders, eyes blazing. Her looked warned that she was willing to thrash him into submission if he dared utter a single word to oppose her. "We're going to get out of here."

"W-what?"

Two hours later, Kaito and Meiko found themselves in a carriage bound of Kabukicho.

**_Two hours before:_**

_The daimyo representatives from Satsuma, Awa, Choshu, Yonezawa, and Sendai stared at each other gravely from across the room. The atmosphere was tense as they reached an impasse regarding reassessment of the shogun's tax law among the commoners due to the year's particularly bad harvest._

_Just as the issue they were debating was reaching a breaking point, Meiko burst into the room despite the efforts of the guards to impede her. She once again dragged a protesting Kaito up by the collar of his kimono as if he was a misbehaving kitten and shook him to prove her point. "This idiot is denser than lead, but he's interesting. We're going out, so don't follow us."_

_The tense mood of the room quickly deflated then transformed into shock. The teacup in the grasp of the representative from Yonezawa slipped from his fingers and shattered into pieces, spilling hot liquid on the previously pristine tatami mat. On the other hand, Satsuma's representative looked as if the ghost of his ancestors had suddenly materialized before him. After so many years of arrangements and meetings, it had seemed nigh impossible for his wildcat of a lady to be interested in any specimen of the male sex that her proclamation now was almost enough to render him comatose._

_The other three could only nod their heads weakly in reply as Meiko looked down her nose at them like a dragon about to breathe fire. "As long as you take someone with you," rasped the man from Yonezawa, who immediately quailed in fear as Meiko turned her attention to him._

Thus, they found themselves in a carriage with Meiko's attendant, Yowane Haku, who timidly sat in the corner without a sound.

The grin on Meiko's face was fit to split her face in two as she stared at the passing scenery. It was not often that she was able to manipulate her retainers into letting her wander and felt quite proud of herself. She then turned to the unwitting partner-in-crime for her latest scheme and her grin turned teasing. "I didn't take you for the type who would wander around Kabukicho, Kaito. Is your lady-friend the reason why you are so against the other marriage prospects that they keep shoving on your lap?"

Meiko pointed to the single dark blue iris that Kaito held protectively and was further amused to see the man's face turn red. She wiggled her eyebrows in a knowing manner as Kaito sputtered to answer.

"T-that is not the case, Meiko."

"Is that so~?" Meiko stared Kaito down, almost willing the man to crack as his cheeks continued to burn with color. She then shrugged and looked back out the window. "Who am I to question what you do with your time? Just make sure your liaison with your mistress is quick since we do not have much time."

"He's not my mistress." Kaito's traitorous lips murmured the words before he even thought to suppress them.

"_He_?" Meiko's attention was instantly refocused on her blue-haired companion as Haku gave a tiny gasp of shock. While it was not unheard of for men to bed young boys, it was an implicit rule for nobles to refrain from such base activities. "The future daimyo of Yonezawa dallies with kagema? Do you have any idea how stupidly conspicuous you are? Subtlety is a lost art to you."

Kaito's normally calm eyes hardened with affront. "Len is not a kagema! And I have no intention to have that sort of relationship with him."

"They why?"

"He sees me—really sees me—even if he keeps his eyes covered. He does not know that I am a noble and he never will. Because of that, he speaks to me like an equal and scolds me like he would a friend rather than someone whose every breath would bring dishonor to his family."

"You sound like you're in love with him."

Kaito smiled. "I do not know how I could have spent the last years of my life not knowing his existence. I think of him so often that I would envy even the wind that wraps around him whenever it wishes. If that is the name I am supposed this give this madness, then I suppose I am."

The rest of the carriage ride was spent in silence until they finally reached the gates of Kabukicho. As Meiko and Haku disembarked from the carriage, Meiko turned to face Kaito with a stern ambiance. "I cannot say that I approve of what you are doing, but this is your life and you should not have someone dictate how you wish to live it. If this 'Len' is to whom your heart is pulling itself towards, then go to him and do not let anyone stand in your way."

Kaito did not need to be told twice as he rushed out of the carriage and ran down the street like a man possessed. He raised a hand in grateful acknowledgement at the two women just as he turned the corner and disappeared from their sight.

Haku wrung her hands together with a panicked expression. She glanced back and forth between the corner the young lord had disappeared to and her grinning mistress. "Meiko-sama, was it wise to tell that to Kaito-sama? He.. he may actually—"

"He is his own man and can take care of himself," said Meiko as she turned around and strolled carefree down a red-lit street. "He cannot possibly be so blind that he cannot acknowledge the consequences that can stem from his actions. If he cannot walk proudly with his head high despite what others may view him, then there is no way he will be able to survive as a ruler.

"As a lord, he must learn that sometimes, defiance will hurt less than continued obedience."

* * *

Kaito's breath came out in clouds of white from exertion as he neared Len's inn. The blue-violet flower was still surprisingly undamaged in his grasp despite his less than graceful dash from the other end of the district. He looked up and his face softened as he saw the familiar barred window that haunted his dreams.

"Len..." Kaito approached the window with the mild delirium of a parched man for water, but he immediately recoiled as if burned. Instead of the covered eyes framed with gold that he was expecting, a calculating blue-green stare froze his movements in place. He was about to turn tail, but his desire to see Len overruled his immediate reaction and he stood his ground. Instead, he put aside his title and bowed in acknowledgement of the beautiful woman who currently occupied Len's normal perch.

Luka's expression softened when the blue-haired lord had recognized her presence. Her hatred for the nobility was difficult to completely erase, but the man did not come to her place to flaunt his name or demand the impossible. Instead, he arrived out of breath as if he ran without cease from the front gate of Kabukicho. His costly robes and blue hair were in total disarray and he carried a single bloomed iris in his hand. She regarded the hopeful, melancholy look in his eyes to be the exact same as the one she saw from the violet-haired man who was currently conversing with Len.

Keeping eye contact with Kaito, Luka raised the fan in her hand in the most minute of millimeters to point towards the front of her establishment. She wanted to speak to him.

The shivering of Kaito's hands had little to do with the cold as Luka gestured toward the front of the inn and rose from her perch. Her expression denied any possible chance of refusal. He ran an unsteady hand through his hair and clothes in an attempt to give them some semblance of order, but only succeeded in further disheveling his state. Realizing that his actions were futile, he walked around the building and stood before the shoji door that heralded the entrance to the establishment.

He stared at the sliding door with trepidation, biting his bottom lip as he fought to calm his frayed nerves, and finally mustered up enough courage to slide the screen aside. The opening of the door revealed the cherry blossom-haired mistress of the inn as she regarded him with a blank, guarded gaze. She was shorter than him in height, but the brilliance of her fire-colored kimono, kanzashi-arranged crown, and regal demeanor was infinitely imposing.

She was a queen and this was her castle. He would do well to listen.

"Good evening, mistress," said Kaito with a low bow, hoping that his voice would not crack as it wished.

Luka arched an eyebrow with surprise as she bowed in return. It was customary for the inhabitants of Kabukicho to welcome their guests by greeting them first rather than have the guests offer the first greeting. All who frequent Kabukicho knew that unspoken rule of hospitality and Luka stifled a laugh at the unexpected innocence of the man before her. "Good evening. Welcome to my establishment once again, Shion-dono."

Kaito did not rise from his bow and only allowed the remorse to spill from his tongue like the release of floodgates. "I deeply apologize for the incident the last time I was here, mistress. I had not meant to cause a scene by my presence. And I request forgiveness in secretly meeting with Len-dono without first obtaining your permission."

The fan almost fell from Luka's hand. She had not been aware that Kaito had met Len again without her knowledge. She prepared to lecture him, but Kaito then righted himself and looked her straight in the eye, unwavering and resolved to meet her admonitions.

"I will accept your censure, but I cannot regret meeting with him again. If I can see his face or hear the sound of his flute one more time..." The strength in Kaito's voice suddenly deflated as he sighed and stared down at the flower in his hand. "The last thing I want is to imagine him alone in that world covered in black."

"You are not willing to take him as he is?" said Luka with a voice like silk-encased steel. "You believe there is something wrong with him?"

Earlier that day, Kaito would have quailed in fear, but Meiko's words had already changed him. "He is grieving. I do not know the reason and I do not intend to reopen wounds that may still be fresh, but the sad smile he gave when I held his hands has no place being there."

Luka was unsure of what to make of Kaito. She had difficulty comparing the forthright man who stood before her to the same overgrown boy who had so desperately struggled against his own retainers when she last saw him. But more importantly, Kaito's artless nature was different from Gakupo, who chose his words with deliberate care.

Above all, Luka favored anyone who could once again breathe life into Len's flute. "You are an honest man," she said in what sounded almost like wonder. But before she could speak further, another voice interrupted her.

"Luka-dono, I will take your leave."

Both Kaito and Luka turned towards Gakupo as he approached the front door. The soft expression on the violet-haired man's face instantly hardened with a volatile mixture of dislike and jealousy when he noted the justification of why Luka had left him alone with Len. He was originally confused—yet pleased—that she had retracted her threat to never leave them unchaperoned, but he had not realized that the reason was due to the arrival of the Shion heir.

Kaito was taken aback by the glare that the other man had turned on him. Due to his reputation as an incompetent noble heir, he was familiar with being the target of disinterest and annoyance, but this was the first time he experienced what felt akin to hatred. But still, it did not mean that he could ignore his manners. "Good evening."

"Good evening, Yonezawa no bocchan," replied Gakupo smoothly as he schooled his features to calmness once again. He turned a winning smile to Luka and bowed slightly. The womanizing demon has been revived. "I thank you for your time, Luka-dono. I appreciate the company of your little golden bird. Len-dono is even more charming than I had expected. Are you certain that you cannot allow me buy his freedom?"

Luka felt a thread of vexation at the blatant challenge in Gakupo's words. He was clearly instigating Kaito as evidenced by the smirk that he sent the other man whilst savoring Len's name as if it melted in his mouth. She glanced at Kaito and saw the man turn pale, his trembling now due to barely restrained fury. "Len's freedom is not mine to grant, Gakupo-dono. Thank you for your patronage."

Gakupo chuckled at the abrupt dismissal, but his eyes remained hard, provoking the answering challenge that flared in Kaito's own as he slowly walked out of the inn and slid the shoji closed. He would clash with the daimyo heir another time, thought Gakupo as he slowly made his way back to Murasaki, today was too precious to end on such an unpleasant note.

Relief flooded Kaito, slowing down his elevated heartbeat and calming his rage as the other man left the inn. He looked up with shame at Luka, who could barely suppress her delight at his loss of control. "I—"

"Think nothing of it, Kaito-dono. Gakupo-dono has that effect on most men." Luka shook her head with disapproval and beckoned for him to follow her. "I am half-certain he means no harm by that ridiculous facade."

Her words attempted to ease the raging resentment that left the taste of ash on his tongue and fire in his lungs, but there was no easy cure to madness. But stronger than the vision of red that coated his vision was Kaito's desire to see Len again. He followed Luka, only pausing as she opened a wooden drawer and retrieved a golden object from within.

"I envy that another would speak with Len-dono," said Kaito truthfully. "But I cannot expect to be the only one to converse with him despite my selfish desire to monopolize his time."

"As I said before, you are a surprisingly honest man, Kaito-dono. I would dishonor your integrity if I do not reply to you with candor," replied Luka as she turned a dark glare upon him. It did not bear the same intense hatred as Gakupo's, but the suddenness cut into him all the same. "Gakupo is a libertine, but I would sooner surrender Len to him a thousand times than to the most unfailingly gentle noble in Edo."

Kaito was stunned by the discriminating words that Luka assaulted him with. But before he could react, Luka continued.

"Kaito-dono, if you are ever forced to choose between your desires or your responsibilities, how would you conduct yourself? If you should ever reach a crossroads where you must choose between love or duty, which would you abandon without looking back?"

"Must I answer that at this point in time?" asked Kaito in a voice that cracked.

Luka's disapproval melted into an easy smile at the blue-haired noble's discomfort. "Of course not! I do not expect you to answer so quickly. If you had, I would have labeled you as a reckless, foolish man who does not think and would have promptly thrown you out despite which answer you had chosen."

She handed the slim, golden shape of a kiseru to him. "Here, you are not a noble. You are simply someone who has come to visit his friend. If you cannot accept this, I will not allow you to see my Len."

Kaito stared down with apprehension at the gold and bamboo pipe in his hands. The metal pipe was associated with the lower classes, a semi-weapon to those who were unable to carry a blade in broad daylight. Nobles were not forbidden to partake of the smoke-filled calm that the kiseru brought, but it was another unspoken rule that the pipe's symbolism was irreparably common.

His father would murder him if he should learn of his son engaging in what he believed was a vulgar practice. But still...

"I do not know if the rumors have reached this far, but I have never been considered to fit the model image of a noble," said Kaito as he recalled what he had seen others do and raised the kiseru to his lips. "The list of my failings and transgressions is already so lengthy that I have already long entertained the fantasy of being disowned."

"And why is that?'

"A person cannot remain still when they are being suffocated. Even if they tried with all their power to accept the constriction, they will sooner or later struggle against the bonds," replied Kaito as his smile widened. "I have been told that I am simply too pathetic to have the perseverance to hold my breath as long as others."

The dark shadow that was cast on Luka's face dissipated like it was never there and she laughed. Her mirth was so great that she did not have time to hide behind her fan. The ice-queen demeanor cracked further as she reached a manicured hand up and ruffled Kaito's hair like one would a child. "That is enough. I have misjudged you, Shion-dono."

"Please, just Kaito," said Kaito, a troubled look flashed for a second on his face. "I am not a noble who needs such titles here, mistress."

Luka's glee faded to calm once again as she beckoned him to come. "I understand, Kaito-han. Let us proceed as the inn must soon open. I am certain that Len will be surprised to see you."

"I just have one concern, mistress."

"And what may that be?"

Kaito pulled kiseru from his mouth and raised it with a helpless look. "I have never used a kiseru before."

Luka's demeanor twisted into a mischievous smirk. "Then I suppose you will just have to learn."

* * *

Len and Luka's lips twitched with amusement as Kaito struggled with the kiseru. The man had drawn the first smoke-filled breath into his lungs and promptly started to cough. Tears formed at the corners of his glassy eyes as he grimaced at unfamiliar sensation. He glanced up at the two with badly hidden shame coloring his features.

"How did I do?" he gasped as small puffs of smoke continued to escape from between his lips.

Len patted his arm and reassured him with a tone rife with sympathy. "I did not see anything, Kaito-dono."

The pained look that twisted Kaito's face clearly betrayed that he did not believe a word Len said. He may not behave like a noble, but he still maintained his pride. He slowly drew the kiseru back to his lips and inhaled again. This time, he managed to blow out the smoke without gracelessly coughing it up.

"Much better," praised Len as the snickers he had attempted to stifle burst forth to ring through the air at the absurdity of the situation. It only took moments before the soft giggles escalated into full-blown laughter.

Kaito gave another agonized expression, but could not help but join Len.

Luka hid a relieved smile behind her fan as she gazed at the single blue-violet iris that boldly bloomed in Len's vase. Silently, she shuffled out unnoticed to prepare for the inn's opening, her heart full from the strongest evidence of happiness and healing that she ever heard from within that room.

* * *

Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

- I hold no rights to Vocaloid or the songs therein.

- I was anticipating on Setsugetsuka to only be two parts, but it is turning out to be lengthier than expected and needed to be split into a third part. A little too much Kaito over Gakupo in this chapter, but I do find it easier to write for Kaito. Ah, well. I wasn't expecting to finish this chapter so soon, so I'm rather surprised myself. I think it helped that I just got Last Color in the mail two days ago, so my imagination is currently working in overdrive.

I'm extremely glad (and kind of bewildered) by the reviews I have received so far. I have never received such long comments and I'm still reeling from shock. Once again, thank you very much for reading! There is much more to come and I hope for your continued patronage!


	3. First Life : Setsugetsuka III END

The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- First Life : Setsugetsuka (Part Three) -

* * *

_"Rin... are you there? Gakupo-dono told me that you are able to hear me even if I can no longer interpret your reply._

_"Then again, I was not able to understand what you said half the time. You always spoke too quickly and I would become overwhelmed by your energy. I would be dragged at your pace and we would find ourselves dirty, in trouble, or both. But we would always laugh at the end._

_"Kaito-dono reminds me a little of you. Of what I lost. I can only imagine how you would scold me. And yet... I would give anything for even a glimpse of your disapproving face._

_"Perhaps... it is time for me to move forward and try to have even a fraction of your strength. _

_"If I could see the sky, would I be able to see you?"_

A strip of black cloth unfurled and slowly fell to the ground, forgotten, as eyes framed with gold were freed of their veil. They reflected color of the heavens as Len turned his face up to the sky with a smile that rivaled the brilliance of the sun.

"Hello, Rin. I missed you."

* * *

Beauty that Gakupo once sought in the red-lit world now appeared unforgivably stagnant and plain. Crimson-stained lips that curved in a beckoning manner no longer heated his blood with desire. He no longer yearned to run his fingers through long, jasmine-perfumed hair. Alabaster-white skin no longer drew his appreciative gaze. In what seemed like a mere moment in his life, he felt that he had become someone else.

All over an unpredictable young boy.

Gakupo was known in Kabukicho for his restraint—one needed control when one was surrounded by beauty in every turn—however, he could not understand what demon possessed him to allow his worst to appear at the mere sight of the blue-haired heir of Yonezawa. It was very bad business to offend a noble of such high rank. Gakupo was normally able to curb his feelings of hostility from reflecting on his features—he believed that jealousy was far beneath him—but there was something about the other man that raised his hackles.

But as much as he tried to dissuade such thoughts, Gakupo knew that the feelings of animosity could only be traced to one golden-haired source.

"Gakupo-han!"

Gakupo was so utterly lost in reflection that he failed to note that his prolonged wandering had ultimately brought him back to Murasaki. He shifted his attention to Gumi, a childhood friend and tayuu who often visited to entertain his guests, as she rushed up to him as best she could. Her leaf-green hair contrasted beautifully against her flowing yellow-orange kimono as she teetered on elevated koma-geta. She held a koto in her arms as if it was the most precious thing in her existence. Unfortunately, the picturesque image was not long-lived as Gumi tripped on the hem of her own robes and pitched forward with a strangled cry.

Back in familiar territory, Gakupo felt his comfort return. He smoothly caught the falling girl and gently brought her back to her feet. "Gumi, what has flustered your lovely self so badly that you find yourself falling into my arms? Have my charms finally affected you after all these years?"

Unlike most other women, Gumi did not indulge her violet-haired friend by appearing to be pleased by his flattery. Instead, she situated herself behind him and pushed him towards Murasaki's front door with unfamiliar urgency. "I beg for you to stop wasting breath, Gakupo-han, when there are men inside who are bothering your female customers."

Gakupo's charming facade immediately dissipated to be replaced by a dangerous air as he left Gumi outside. He slid the white shoji of the entrance with less composure than usual and walked in with long strides, the striking image of a predator ready to strike at the slightest provocation.

Luka was known for protecting her establishment like a queen. But Gakupo protected his as a lion would. Both owners were possessive, but Gakupo was simply more savage and personal in his approach.

He pushed aside the velvety curtain that would lead him to the main room, but before he could take a step in, two beaten, drunken fools were unceremoniously tossed through.

"Welcome back, Gakupo-sama," laughed two of his strongest guards as they bowed to him in passing from the main room.

"Efficient as always. I trust that our customers have not been distressed by this turn of events?"

The two guards exchanged a knowing smirk as they picked up the two unconscious men and proceeded to drag them toward the front gate. "It was not us who were given the honor of teaching these men a new set of manners, Gakupo-sama."

"... I see." Gakupo only spared them a glance, almost pitying the two men for their injuries, before he stepped through the curtain. Tobacco, incense, and the lingering scent of lilies permeated the room, saturating the walls and wafting up to the roof in lilac-colored ribbons of smoke from those with kiseru in their hands. The dim lamplight, silken cushions, and beautiful men and women who spoke in soft, secretive tones radiated a debauched atmosphere. However, the earlier disturbance had eradicated the normally sensual air beyond redemption. Now, the whispers were directed toward the two striking figures that blocked his path.

Gakupo found himself standing before two very contrasting women. The woman to the right had long white hair that reached to her waist, the white and black yukata of a maidservant, and wide crimson eyes that were fixed worriedly upon her companion. Her hands were held before her in a uselessly placating manner even as she trembled in fear.

On the other hand, the woman to his left had brown hair cut boyishly short and unkempt as if she was carried there by a whirlwind. Her black kimono and red hakama were uncommon clothing for women to wear (though Gakupo had seen numerous women wearing stranger-or much less-clothing over the years), and her dark amber eyes were filled with fire. She waved the other girl's concerns aside as she rolled her eyes and lifted a bottle of sake to her lips.

"Meiko-sama, was it truly necessary to use so much force on them?" asked the white-haired woman.

Meiko simply scoffed. "Haku, fools who think they can get women drunk in order to have their way are the lowest of the low. They won't learn until the lesson is thoroughly beaten into them."

Gakupo could not stop the slight upturn of his lips at the woman's bold statement and he approached them with a polite bow. "Good evening, ladies. I am Gakupo, the owner of Murasaki. I apologize for the altercation committed by my other customers. My sentries are usually the ones responsible for those whose hands may happen to stray. I hope that you remain unmolested?"

Meiko snorted between sips. "I'm not so weak that I cannot protect myself. And shouldn't you be worried more about whether their hands were still attached?"

"I would not dare anger a lady who can cut off a man's hand without spilling a single drop of blood," replied Gakupo with a smile at his clean stone floor. "But I do hope you stay a while longer. Please allow us to show our hospitality and provide you with more refreshments."

Meiko perked up at the word. "At no charge?"

"Meiko-sama!" whispered Haku with urgency as she tugged on her mistress' sleeve. "We have been out for too long! We must leave soon or the palace will send out someone to search for us."

_The palace?_ Gakupo wondered with surprise. He did not expect for the shogun's palace to allow its workers the ability to run around Kabukicho in such a fashion. But then again... the name 'Meiko' reminded him of the oldest daughter of the Satsuma daimyo.

"Meiko!"

The three turned in time to see a familiar blue-haired man push aside the velvet curtain that led to the front door. "Ah, good evening."

Meiko groaned in annoyance.

Haku sighed in relief.

Gakupo clenched his teeth to prevent the antagonistic growl from spilling forth. His hands curled into fists as he met Kaito's confused eyes and held. Was it not enough for the man to trespass into Len's heart? Did he find it necessary to traipse over Gakupo's territory as well?

He had to end it before the madness and rage could further consume him.

Gakupo followed the three as they made their way through the curtain and toward the front of Murasaki. He reached them just before they could slide the screen aside and disappear through the crowds in the street.

"Yonezawa no bocchan, a moment of your time."

It astonished Meiko and Haku to see Kaito's childlike mien shatter. His eyes hardened and narrowed into sharp sapphire shards to meet the hostile aura that Gakupo had started to exude upon his arrival. "My name is Kaito, Gakupo-dono. I hope it will not be too difficult to remember. It is composed of only two syllables after all."

It took all of Gakupo's restraint to prevent from lashing out. "Kaito-dono. I must request for you to cease your visitations to Luka-dono's establishment. It will not reflect well on your status as a noble to be discovered there again and it would cause Luka-dono no end in grief if the palace should hold her accountable for tarnishing your image."

"I do not know if you are aware, but my image has already been so thoroughly tarnished by worthlessness that not even the shogun's favor can redeem it. It would only be a fantasy to even think that my actions would stir up any emotions other than indifference."

"Then do you not care if Luka-dono will suffer because of your actions?" hissed Gakupo as he slowly felt the unfamiliar warmth of rising anger.

"I will not stop visiting Len unless he requests it of me himself," growled Kaito in return. "Is that not the root cause of your request, Gakupo-dono?"

The bubble of rage that had grown in Gakupo deflated as Kaito sidestepped his intimidation and drove straight into the heart of their problem.

When Gakupo did not reply, Kaito continued. "I have never been very good at pretense. That is why I have always been deemed a failure of an aristocrat. Other nobles pity my honorable father for having only a single simple-minded fool for a son. Thus, it would appreciated if you could be upfront with your quarrel with me."

If they had met under different circumstances, Gakupo thought that he would have credited Kaito to be a rare sort of noble who was incorruptible in his genuine simplicity. Unfortunately, love had a tendency of blinding and distorting the vision of even those with perfect sight.

While Len saw the world in black, Gakupo could only see the world bathed in red.

"I understand. As you requested, I will be upfront with you," said Gakupo as he brushed aside the mild admiration. "Your association with Len will only end in tragedy. The worlds you live in and your ranks are so far apart that it might as well be the distance from the earth to the sun. There is nothing of benefit you could possibly give him as you are."

Kaito's eyes were cold. The good-natured mannerism that characterized him was nowhere to be found. Instead, his body was possessed by a man with the proud stance of a noble heir. "You speak with conviction for someone who has only seen me twice before. I have not promised anything to Len. On the contrary, I am the one who can no longer breathe if it is not his name that is passing through my lips. And you are neither his father nor his keeper. What right do you have to make demands on the company he keeps?"

Gakupo snarled and reached a hand to his side on instinct, forgetting that commoners were no longer able to openly wield a sword due to shogunate decree. The distinct absence of his weapon only worsened his mood. "I am only protecting him from becoming a plaything for those of your class. What could a daimyo heir want from a boy-child contracted in the red-light district? You are an only son. Despite your obvious lack of intelligence, you will still rise into power after your father. Do not speak of your affections for Len when your future clearly denies it."

"I ask that you dare not make a mockery of what I feel, sir." Kaito's hands were clenched tight; his nails dug deep enough to draw traces of blood with his efforts to restrain his temper.

"I think we are both quite aware that the time for mockery has long passed, Kaito-dono," spat Gakupo as if man's name was poison on his tongue. "If it is veracity you request, then I am willing to provide it in plain words that even you should be able to understand. I am in love with Len."

The fatal sentence was the final cut that severed Kaito's rationality. His vision filled with a vile green shade and the hateful noises in his head reached a crescendo that pushed aside the kind young man and left only the noble beast. "Gakupo-dono, I am not so sheltered that I do not know what activities and trysts take place within your establishment. If Len should be protected from anything, it should be from the derision that would come with being associated with the owner of a whore house."

Meiko's jaw hung open as she watched the two men before her trade barbs like two wild dogs rather than the gentlemen they appeared to be. She had spent a mere few hours in Kaito's company, but she was of the opinion that would never have believed that he could speak lines filled with such contempt for another human being. She wanted to curb their tongues and beat the sense back into them, but the deadly atmosphere that had grown between the two men made interference impossible.

For the rest of her life, Meiko would curse that she had not intervened as the two men sealed their own fates.

"I do not have the luxury to feel shame in what I do, Kaito-dono. Those of us who were not showered with comfort and extravagance from birth to maturity must learn to thrive in any way we can. This is the case for Luka-dono and Len as well. And the fact that you would curse our way of life, which is the product of noble avarice, is unforgivable." Gakupo drew himself to his full height and hatred hummed through his veins. "I request a duel."

Haku gasped in horror that a commoner would dare provoke the son of one of the most powerful daimyo of Edo. Meiko stepped forward with a severe frown on her face to interrupt as the situation spiraled out of control, but she was far too late. "Stop-"

"I accept. I cannot condone that you would associate Luka-dono and Len with the perverted nature of your way of life," growled Kaito as he matched Gakupo's glare with his own. "As the challenged, I will set the circumstances. Tomorrow evening-just as the sky turns red-at the western field where the irises bloom."

Gakupo only nodded his head in acknowledgement before he stiffly turned around and returned to the main room.

Kaito stood still for what felt like hours before he finally faced Meiko, the sheepish smile back on his face. He had the grace to flinch when Meiko's expression remained unreadable as they stepped back into the night crowd.

"You are a fool."

"... I know."

Meiko sighed and rubbed her aching temples. "So now what?"

"Meiko-sama, we really must make our way back to the castle," said Haku almost tearfully. The last thing the poor attendant wanted was to be scolded by the higher-ups of the palace after witnessing Kaito's surprisingly vengeful side first-hand.

"Not yet," replied Meiko with a tinge of annoyance. She gave Kaito a pointed look. "I want to see this 'Len'. Take me to him."

"Meiko..."

"Now."

* * *

_**If I did not exist that fight had not happened.**_

* * *

"Len... are you asleep?"

Len opened his eyes as a soft tap and whisper caught his attention. He quietly shuffled to his window-now covered by a thick curtain from Luka's orders-but did not look outside. "I am still awake, Kaito-dono. But the nights have grown cold and Luka-sama has forbidden me from seeing anyone else tonight."

"I understand." Kaito's reply was so soft that Len had almost missed it. "I only wanted to bid you good night. It may be a very long while before I am able to see you again."

To his surprise, Len felt a sharp pinprick of pain as his voice caught in his throat. He covered it with his hand and quickly dismissed the diminishing sensation as a figment of his imagination. "Are you going on a journey?"

"... of sorts, I suppose."

Silence stretched between them, unbroken, as snow began to fall outside. They both stood, separated by the barred window and curtain, but momentarily content.

After a long moment, Len opened his mouth to break the silence, but Kaito was faster.

"Len, I want to tell you something before I go. But I will not be satisfied until I know that you understand it."

"I do not—"

"Please, if only for a second, I would like to see you."

Len bit his lip as he glanced to the floor and reached for the blindfold he had abandoned earlier. However, his movement stopped and he drew his hand back when he remembered his resolve. He turned back to the window. "Kaito-dono... I am not sure..."

"No Len, I apologize. Please forget that I asked. It is late and I should be following Luka-dono's rules. I will take your leave. Good night, Len."

"Wait!" Len slightly drew the curtain aside and blinked up into Kaito's stunned gaze. A slight blush tinged his cheeks as he averted his eyes at the other man's expression. Without the blindfold, Len could clearly see the man before him. Kaito was the most handsome man he had ever seen and it bothered him more than he would have liked. He quickly perished the thought and recovered his courtesy. "It would be cruel of me to not listen when you have taken the time to visit me again."

The words that Kaito had been ready to say disappeared as his mind blanked and his face colored furiously. He had expected to see Len's blindfold if the boy had been willing to show his face, but seeing the bright sky-blue eyes that perfectly fit the boy he loved was nearly enough to stop his heart. Kaito immediately covered his face with his hands in defiance of the blush that only grew more violent as the seconds passed. He never felt more thankful for the crimson light that bathed the district.

"Len, that is unfair."

Len affable visage became awash with worry as he leaned forward to better see Kaito under the red glare of the lamps. "What have I done?"

Kaito sighed, let his hands slip from his face, and approached the window. "You have done nothing wrong, Len. I just feel extremely humbled each time I see you."

Len smiled, unsure of how to respond to Kaito's words. He did not know if it was the lamp light or from how long he went without sight, but he thought that the look on Kaito's face was one of the most sorrowful he had ever witnessed. And because of it, he did not have the heart to reject the older man's touch.

With hesitant, trembling hands, Kaito slowly reached through the barred window and gently cupped Len's face. Len did not flinch from his touch, but he did not lean into it either. Kaito had expected rejection, so when Len did nothing, he was encouraged. He delicately ran his fingers across the younger boy's eyelids, closing Len's eyes and hiding the sky-blue color from the world once again.

_If I can occupy even the most miniscule corner of your mind_, Kaito thought, _I will live through tomorrow._

"Kaito-dono?"

"Len, can you see me?"

"I have always been able to see you."

"I am glad. I know that even when you secluded your sight in that world of black, you were able to see me with clarity. My words reached you then. Will they reach you now?"

Len smiled. "It will depend on whether they are related to me in words that I can understand."

"You are precious to me. I treasure you more than I have ever cared for anything in my life. And if I should never see you again, I will not regret that these are the last words I convey to you."

Then, the soft, warm pressure of Kaito's touch retreated to be replaced by cold.

When Len found the courage to open his eyes, he was alone.

"Kaito-dono... I am not the only one who does not play fair."

* * *

_**I should not have met you that night.**_

* * *

"I see your fascination," mumbled Meiko as they disembarked from the carriage and walked back into the palace. Their feet made soft, crunching noises as they stepped on fresh, fallen snow. "He is a strong, beautiful boy."

"Yes," laughed Kaito as he breathed in the cold air. "He is."

Meiko struggled to curb the urge to thrash the man until he was unconscious. "Do not think that I agree with the death warrant that you have signed. Even if you survive tomorrow, do you actually believe that Len would be happy to hear what the two of you are doing without his knowledge? I am hardly the model for a voice of reason, but Len did not show even the slightest sign of returning your affections and yet you would act so mindlessly! Do not think I will remain silent regarding this!"

"I know."

"Then why—?"

Kaito did not provide Meiko with a reply, but his smile was sad as he walked into the palace and left them alone.

"Haku," Meiko turned to Haku and addressed her in a strange voice-as if each word caused her pain. "I want you to listen to me."

Haku's eyebrows knit together from misery at the unfolding events, but she gave her mistress her full attention. "I will follow your orders, Meiko-sama."

"The daimyo representatives have left the palace tonight at the shogun's orders, but they will return tomorrow. You will find them and inform them of Kaito's idiotic dispute. If you must interrupt them while they are in the process of killing one another, then so be it. We must do what we can to stop that fight as the fool will not listen to reason."

"I... will try, mistress." Haku blanched as white as rice paper at the thought of confronting some of the most powerful men in Edo. "But what-"

Meiko's glower shifted into a look of determination as she glanced back down the path toward Kabukicho. "If they are not willing to listen... Tomorrow, there is someone I must speak to."

* * *

When the new day dawned, the ground was blanketed with white. The clouds passed, leaving the sky bluer and the sun brighter than anyone remembered them being all year. People smiled good-naturedly as they passed each other on the street and children laughed and played without a care in the world.

But Len did not join the vibrant crowd.

Luka had accepted his melancholy to be a reaction to the changing season and allowed him his solitude. His uncovered eyes were more than enough evidence of his healing that she was willing to grant anything in her power to keep it. On the other hand, Len disliked causing even the slightest bit of distress for his stately mistress and he obeyed her whims in order to ease her concern.

Kaito's words from the night before remained on his mind, throwing his thoughts in utter chaos. His withdrawn nature was torn to shreds as the memory of the other man's touch still burned itself upon his skin.

He was not so young and opaque that he could not apprehend Kaito's-and Gakupo's-affection for him, but Len simply did not know how he was supposed to react. His life was not fully his to live and his decisions were not fully his to make.

And so, he would keep his silence.

_This would be for the best,_ Len thought with a smile. _Something like love is too dangerous to be made light of by those who are too inexperienced. I can live my life without falling prey to such madness._

But as the sun began to show signs of setting, another whisper from beyond his covered window drew Len's interest.

"Len-dono."

Len's lips curved into a shy smile as he recognized the voice, deeper than Kaito's, and settled himself behind the curtain once again. "Good afternoon, Gakupo-dono. I am surprised that you would visit me while the sun is still in the sky."

"Ah... I... I hope that I am not bothering you at an inopportune time. I will not stay long, but I... wanted to see you."

There was a reserved tone in the other's voice that struck Len as odd. From their conversations, Len knew that Gakupo was a man who was eloquent with both his words and his demeanor. To hear the man hesitate was akin to hearing a sour note from a finely tuned lute. "I am not engaged at the moment, sir."

"I see..."

"Sir, is there anything the matter?"

"Len..." Gakupo's glib tongue stumbled as he helplessly combed his mind for the correct words to say. To his horror, he found that all of the sentences that formed at the tip of his tongue tasted superficial. This was the difference between Kaito and himself-and the contrast was degrading. Finally, he forced himself to stop thinking altogether. "I do not know how I can express myself with words that do not sound contrived. The only point of clarity I can be assured of is that I cannot bear for you to only think of me as the mask that I hide behind."

Len did not have to see his face to know that the older man was having difficulty. He did not know the reason, but he could not leave his visitor to suffer alone. He carefully grasped the edge of the curtain and pulled it down to reveal the beautiful man's stupefied expression. Like with Kaito, Len was struck with envy at the ease with which the man carried himself.

Gakupo's breath caught in his throat as the full weight of Len's open gaze arrested him. The wide blue eyes were mirror-bright and piercing in their intensity. He let out a shuddering breath and bowed his head, too weak to meet Len's honesty.

"Gakupo-dono, you were not the only one who has relied on a mask. Now that you have seen me without mine, does it make it easier to remove yours?" Len reached out a white hand toward Gakupo's face as if to raise it from its despondent state.

"My mask consists of my whole being and cannot be as simply removed as your own, my dear," whispered Gakupo in a choked voice like one who struggled to hold back tears that they desperately wanted to shed. "If I am to be truthful, knowing what I have done and how I have survived, I am ashamed to live on the same earth as you. I cannot accept your touch when all I can do is dirty your hands."

Len reached forward as far as he could and gently touched a stray strand of violet-colored hair. His expression was both chiding and resolute as Gakupo's face slowly rose again in wonder. "Not too long ago, I had told a friend that it is only right to help someone when they have fallen down. Regardless of how far you have been soiled—whether you are common or noble—it would be disgraceful for me to not provide assistance in any way I am able."

Gakupo finally smiled, but it could not completely reach his eyes. He carefully covered Len's hand with his own and very gently drew it to his lips. He left a soft, lingering kiss on the inside of Len's palm before using his other hand to curl Len's fingers around it.

It was Len's turn for silence as his tongue felt too heavy in his mouth to form a reply. His attention was solely focused on the hand that held Gakupo's kiss, but as the man released him, he looked back up. "Gakupo-dono..."

"I had thought that I was ready to bare myself to you as fluently as I am able to tell others, but I am still lacking and time is short. I am aware of the consequences of my selfish actions and must first take this time to rectify them." Gakupo straightened his posture and looked toward the western field. "I cherish you far too much to only be able to love you half-heartedly."

Len's knees failed him as he collapsed to the floor, stunned for the second time in less than a day. He could only stare back up at Gakupo's retreating form as his mind was thrown into confusion. But through his churning thoughts, he could not help but notice one aberrant detail.

_Why is Gakupo-dono carrying a katana?_

* * *

_**I not know what is the correct answer.**_

* * *

Len continued to kneel even as the blue color of the sky became tinged with orange from the setting sun. He had watched it many times before, but with covered eyes, he had been unable to appreciate its true beauty. Now he understood that it was a beauty that he could live without.

When the heavens darkened, it was time to bid his sibling good night.

His musings were cut short as a woman rushed up to his window. Her clothes and short brown hair clung to her skin from sweat and were streaked with dirt as if she had been running for miles. She gasped for breath as she clung to window's wooden bars to maintain her balance. When her breath finally returned, she pushed her hair out of her face and gave Len a stare akin to that of a caged animal.

"You have to stop them!"

Len scrambled to his feet as the woman's contagious agitation began to affect him. He had never seen the woman before in his life, but he knew that he had to listen from the direct way she had addressed him. "Mistress, whatever do you mean? Stop who?"

Meiko huffed as she vainly tried to rip the bars from the window with her bare hands. "Shut up! If you don't go now, those two really will kill each other!"

"Please calm down!" Len tried to understand what had brought the fierce woman to him. He glanced to the door and wondered if he should call Luka, but then the sharp sound of a sword being unsheathed ripped his attention back to the woman. "Wait!"

"Stand back!" Meiko 'borrowed' the weapon from a passing officer who now cowered at the sight of the horrifying woman. With two clean swipes of the sharp blade, the bars that had served as Len's protection from the outside world fell to pieces around their feet. Meiko then sheathed the sword and threw it back to its rightful owner.

Len slowly picked up one of the wooden bars and looked up in alarm. "What have you done?"

But Meiko was having none of it. Without further ceremony, she leaped into the room, picked Len up as if he weighed nothing and practically tossed him out of the window into the street. When the boy made to protest, she silenced him by pointing in the same direction that Gakupo had taken. "The western field where the iris field blooms. That fool Kaito and that long-haired nuisance are there-fighting over you like a couple of children with weapons that can cut better than words. If you cannot stop them, one or both of them will die."

Len felt his blood turn as cold as the snow that slowly fell on him. "But why—?"

"Passion is a dangerous infection when incited by a catalyst into action. They know what they are fighting for but are still too blind to see that you cannot reason with love. And that is why they are fools."

"I am the—"

"This was no one's decision but their own. But I cannot sit back and do nothing about it. We must go."

"No, I will go alone."

Not another word was needed as Len desperately ran. He could not fully comprehend the anxiety that pulsated from his body with every step. All he wanted was to arrive at his destination with even just a single second to spare.

"I wonder when he realized that I could not have gone with him even if I wanted to." Meiko collapsed to the ground as she watched the young boy until he was no longer in her sight. Her legs throbbed painfully from running straight from the palace to Kabukicho. When she and Haku were unable to break through to the heavily guarded meeting of the daimyo representatives, Meiko snuck out of the castle and headed to the only other option that existed. She smiled tiredly at the light-haired woman who stepped out from the shadows of the single door in the room. "I am surprised that you would let him go after what you have heard."

Luka allowed her tears to fall as she walked across the room, picked up a black strip of cloth, and held it close to her breast. Strong sobs shook her frame as she whispered Len's name. "I feel that I could never forgive myself if I had kept the knowledge from him. I can keep him forever safe, forever protected, but I do not want for Len to live only a half-life. Even if it meant that he would fly from me, I cannot continue to allow him a gilded cage."

"This may end in tragedy..."

"And fate makes fools of us all."

* * *

_**I will end it by my hands.**_

* * *

Haku clung desperately to Yuma's black and white kimono as the horse they rode tore out from the palace and down the path to Kabukicho. The countryside flashed in vague colors before her eyes at the breakneck speed.

She had finally managed to gain an audience with the daimyo representatives, but their only reaction to her pleas was to summon Yuma, a warrior known for his cold demeanor and his skill with a sword. When Haku tried to protest, Yuma had only ushered her out and thrown her on a horse.

When they finally arrived at the iris-ringed field, they could see two figures in the midst of combat.

"Y-Y-Yuma-dono, what should we do?"

Yuma dismounted from the horse and fixed Haku in place with a stern look. He hated missions like this one the most, but as a hired sword, they were not something he had the luxury of refusing. He untied his katana from the horse's saddle and crouched low. "Stay here and be quiet. I will be finished soon."

"Wait! Why are you taking your sword? All we need is for this fight to be stopped! We do not want anyone to be hurt!" Haku's fear peaked when she realized why the council had called for Yuma—who only knew of battle. She feared for Gakupo's life as she tried her best to reach for Yuma's sleeve. "You cannot harm Gakupo-dono!"

Yuma sighed in annoyance and shook off Haku's hold. "Be silent. I have my orders from the council and cannot go against them."

"But—!" Haku's pleas stopped as movement from a golden-haired figure approached the edge of her vision. She released her hold on Yuma's sleeve in surprise. "Len-dono!"

The boy never heard her and before she could realize her fatal mistake, Yuma was gone.

* * *

_**In the place where violet and blue intersect.**_

* * *

"Gakupo-dono, Kaito-dono! Stop!" Len screamed in a voice unused to such abuse. But even in the empty field, his cry was not enough to be heard against the violent noise and silver sparks from the frenzied meeting of two sharp blades.

The two men were lost in a jealousy-fueled world as they raged-unable to hear even the supplication of the one they had abandoned their morals for. Len did not know what he could possibly do to intervene, so he could only continue to push forward and pray for a miracle.

A man with Luka's shade of cherry blossom hair quickly stepped in front of Len, stopping his forward movement. Wolf-yellow eyes stared down into sky blue with a calculating gaze. "Are you Len?"

Len stood still as he faced the taller man with curiosity and without a hint of fear. His breath left his lips in clouds of white as the beating of his heart slowed down and the cold of the snow surrounded him. "I am."

Yuma slowly drew the katana from its sheath as the frigid wind hummed and the moonlight reflected a blue glow on its surface. "I was sent to kill you."

Len's eyes widened, but as he heard the sound of steel upon steel, he closed them and smiled sadly. "May I ask the reason?"

The lack of panic on Len's face startled Yuma more than he cared to admit. But he had not felt even the tiniest hint of regret in the years since his family had abandoned him. He could not afford to start now. "I was to dispatch of either you or a man named Gakupo-dono, but your death was preferred. You are a threat to the future of Yonezawa daimyo's heir. It cannot be discovered that Kaito-bocchan is connected to someone of your class."

It was as Len thought. He had known that Kaito was a noble from the color of his hair and the quality of his clothes. But even knowing, he could not reject him. "Will my death stop their fight?" Len asked, not realizing that the iris field had grown quiet.

"I cannot promise anything," said Yuma honestly as he raised his katana. The weapon felt almost too heavy to bear in his hands as if it disagreed with his actions. But in the end, it could only destroy as its wielder wished.

"It is enough," said Len with a bright smile as he raised his eyes to the darkening sky.

_Rin... I am coming to see you._

* * *

_**A yellow thing was dyed in red.**_

* * *

The sharp whistle of a finely wrought blade caught Gakupo and Kaito's attention. They both froze as the sudden interruption siphoned away the animosity that raged between them. The last thing they wanted was for an innocent bystander to be harmed in their quarrel.

They both turned to see a rose-haired man and his companion as they stood in the middle of the field.

"Who are they?" Gakupo gasped as he plunged his sword into the ground and leaned on the weapon. He clutched his left shoulder as blood seeped through the cloth and his fingers from a wound that he had received. His long hair hung like a curtain as the tie that held it disappeared long ago.

Kaito was in worse shape than Gakupo. His hand was firmly held against his side to staunch a deep wound. A cut on his left cheek bled freely and his clothes hung in tatters on his figure. But he remained silent when a feeling of dread grew in his heart as he watched the stranger cut down the companion who was hidden from their sight.

As the other figure crumpled to the ground, the rose-haired man flicked his weapon to the side, drawing a bloody arc upon the snow, and turned to face them. And in front of Gakupo and Kaito's eyes, the man disappeared from sight as if he was never there.

"What was that?" Gakupo whispered as if he had seen a spirit, but his heart leapt to his throat when Kaito yelled a familiar name.

"LEN!"

To Kaito's horror, he had seen the Len's wheat-yellow hair on the fallen victim once the man had vanished from view. He stumbled to the boy's side as the soft, white snow that he laid upon began to darken into the deep, crimson shade of freshly spilt blood. He grasped the boy's left hand, but it felt even colder than ice.

Gakupo was not far behind as he took his place on Len's other side. He swiftly stripped the remains of his kimono and applied pressure to single fatal cut on the left side of Len's throat. "Len, stay awake. You cannot fall asleep!" But he knew that it was too late and there was little he could do.

To their small relief, Len slowly opened his eyes and gave them a painful smile. His lips parted to speak, but he was only able to cough up blood for his efforts. He gasped as his strength left him, but he knew that he needed to make his thoughts known to them.

"... so foolish... I... never said I loved either of you..."

* * *

_**So this was the best answer for us.**_

* * *

Kaito and Gakupo's eyes met over Len as they realized the grave repercussions of their actions. It was only then that they realized the truth in Len's words and the reality caused sharper, deeper pain than the physical wounds that currently marked their bodies.

"You did not have to," whispered Gakupo as his vision blurred. "I did not expect you to love me back. I did not want to hurt you with my selfishness."

"All I wanted was to free you from the world covered in black. The last thing I expected was to further trap you in it," Kaito sobbed bitterly.

Len laughed quietly as he felt the last bit of warmth from the tears that fell like rain upon his face. He no longer knew if they belonged to him or from the two whose passionate love burned far more destructively than the broken vessel of his heart could accept.

This was a cursed existence that Len could not escape. But he could not stop hoping to be stronger as the final breath left his body with a prayer meant for their ears alone.

Perhaps in the next life...

* * *

_**"I want to meet you again..."**_

* * *

- First Life : Setsugetsuka -

- END -

* * *

Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

- I hold no rights to Vocaloid or the songs therein.

- This hurt to write. This is despite the fact that I completed it even more quickly than the last chapter. I could have extended it, but honestly, I probably would have regretted it. The first half of the chapter practically wrote itself, but the latter half was almost like pulling teeth. It's the feeling I have whenever I finish writing a story. I just wasn't expecting to feel this sense of loss so soon. Damn you for making me so emotional, Setsugetsuka! Now I feel like writing a backstory with Luka and Yuma as siblings.

- I argued with myself for a ridiculous amount of time regarding the actual lyrics in bold—whether I should correct the grammar or leave them as they are. In the end, I kept them true to the song just as a nod to SCL project. I may continue to agonize over it.

- Next up is LOVELESSxxx. I'm taking some elements from Yun Kouga's manga (as it seemed appropriate), but it's going to be an original story as well. It's already in the works, but after watching the PV again, I'm hitting an unexpected snag in the plot I had preconceived so it may take a little while to complete the first chapter. Warning of Gakupo/Kaito for only the first part, by the way (I will not keep that pairing, sorry for those who may want Gakupo/Kaito/Len). I hope you look forward to it.


	4. Second Life : LOVELESSxxx I

The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- Second Life : LOVELESSxxx (Part One) -

* * *

Sacrifices by themselves are without power, but their true quality is revealed when they are bound to a Fighter. They receive all of the damage a Fighter would have been afflicted with in battle, allowing the Fighter to disregard their own sense of self-preservation and engage the enemy freely. But the wretched nature of the bond only exists one way, for should a Sacrifice die from the damages they receive, their Fighter would suffer no repercussions.

When the ten-year war between Prince Leon and Queen Ann for the right of succession to the Krypthon throne first erupted, both sides searched the population for the rare humans who had the feline ears, tail, and bright, hypnotic eyes of a Sacrifice. Many volunteered to fight for their country, but their numbers soon dwindled.

But years passed and unable to see an end to the bloodshed, both sides grew desperate. Those Sacrifices who originally resisted were forcibly taken and confined until their Fighters were found. As the casualties escalated, people gradually forgot that Sacrifices were more than collateral damage.

Countless Sacrifices died from this negligence. Ten years later, only one known Sacrifice remained.

Until now.

* * *

"Did you hear? Her Majesty found two Sacrifices in an orphanage!"

"I heard about it this morning. Twins, right? This is very good news for our side of the war."

"... do you really think so?"

"What do you mean? Since Luka got herself killed, we have been losing ground because that incompetent fool Miku has not bonded with another. There are so few of these creatures left that no one knew if any more existed. How could this be anything short of a miracle?"

"It's just... has anyone ever asked the Sacrifices what they wanted? I mean, they have ears and tails unlike normal people, but shouldn't they have their own dreams and aspirations too?"

"Don't talk nonsense. Sacrifices cannot feel. They only exist for one reason and one reason alone."

"And what is that?"

"To suffer and die in their Fighter's stead."

* * *

Kaito crossed his arms and leaned against the wall languidly. He watched Gakupo tame his long violet locks into some semblance of order, barely suppressing the urge to snort in contempt at the other man's vanity. Just a week ago, every single strand was of the same dark violet shade, but almost overnight, a streak that framed the man's handsome face had lightened in color. It was the same phenomenon that Kaito himself had seen when he first looked into a mirror that fateful day.

The sign of an awakened Fighter.

"I suppose you've heard the rumors flying."

"You would have to be deaf and blind to miss them in this place," replied Gakupo as he stood up from the bed, adjusted the collar of his white uniform, and walked up to Kaito. "Instead of seriously training potential Fighters, the Academy has become a wives' den of gossip. It is no wonder that this war has turned the country on its head."

Kaito could only nod in response. But he knew that despite the annoyances, the Knights' Academy—also known as the Fighters' School—was a formidable place.

Both men were ten years of age when they left their families and joined the academy, hand-picked by the most qualified of Queen Ann's advisors as potential Fighters in the power struggle against Prince Leon. They have spent ten years within the white marble confines of their training grounds and today was the day that could potentially set them free.

But freedom is not without its price.

Gakupo leaned forward and ran his hand through Kaito's blue hair, trying his best to erase the scowl on his best friend's face. But he could only half-heartedly comfort the other man as the same foreboding, unsettled feeling churned in the back of his own mind. He frowned as his fingers ran through a lock of hair that was a significantly lighter blue than the rest. "Are you as bothered by it as I am? After all these years, do you still feel like your memories are incomplete?"

The scowl on Kaito's face melted into mild annoyance. "Stronger than ever. It had seemed to ease when we first met and was tempered with time... but I felt it return and grow in urgency ever since we awakened."

With a sigh, Gakupo's hand dropped to Kaito's shoulders and he forced the shorter man to look him in the eye. "Kaito, look at me."

Kaito glanced up and locked eyes with his friend, sometimes bedmate. He knew that neither of them felt the deep connection that existed between true lovers. The hungry, soul-consuming love that burned past death. The insanity of when even a moment's absence would seem like an eternity in hell.

Deep in their consciousness, they knew that it was something that they had experienced before. When they first met, it drew them together as if they had known each other in a past life, each recognizing the same lonely emptiness. The craving for companionship. They were aware of it despite not knowing what caused such misery. And they chose to seek comfort in the strange familiarity.

Drowning together was less frightening than drowning alone.

But recently, the lies they told themselves were no longer enough.

"Our fates were decided before we ever had the chance to leave this room," warned Gakupo. "Upon joining the academy, we agreed to protect something other than ourselves. We knew that the day would come when we must walk separately, but we cannot forget what has kept us together."

"It is a curse, Gakupo," growled Kaito as he brushed off Gakupo's touch and placed a hand on the door. "To be bound to someone we do not know and forced to use their power. I had hoped that we would be able to find that missing piece before we were forced apart."

"Things have a way of working out in the end," Gakupo shook his head with a small smile. "But we have tarried too long. Let us meet our Sacrifices."

* * *

_**"You are precious to me. I treasure you more than I have ever cared for anything in my life."**_

"No..."

_**"I cherish you far too much to only be able to love you half-heartedly."**_

"Please, stop..."

_**"I want to meet you again..."**_

"STOP IT!"

"Len!"

Len woke up with a cold sweat. A deathly scream formed in his throat as the last flashes of dream-like images assaulted his memory. He had covered his lips with shaking hands to suppress the sound, tasting salt from the inexplicable tears that ran bitterly down his cheeks.

This was not home. The black and white walls, the mahogany furniture, the shining marble floors, the exquisite paintings, the crystal chandeliers, and the rich velvet tapestries—they only served as gaudy decorations for their cage. And their prison felt like death.

Home was a small, simple cabin in the middle of a sunflower field. Home was filled with Miss Gumi and orphans like him who did not stare simply because of his ears and tail. He was not forced to make a spectacle of himself and be paraded around like a trophy. But now, Len could not longer find his way back.

The golden-haired boy raised his face to see two pairs of concerned eyes looking down on him. He slowly lowered his hands to the plush white blanket that pooled at his waist and forced himself to relax. Instead of the deep blue and violet that he had half-expected, the eyes he met were a vibrant turquoise behind a pair of gold wire glasses and a sky-blue shade that mirrored his own. "I'm sorry Rin, Lady Miku. I did not mean to disturb you."

The two female Sacrifices exchanged glances before situating themselves on both sides of the younger boy. They wrapped their arms around him and squeezed so tightly that Len thought that they would expel all of the air he had in his lungs. Despite the thin white shifts they wore that provided little protection against the icy chill in the room, the girls' skin felt warm against his. He felt uncomfortable, but he could not deny the two girls what was as much of a reassurance to them as it was to him.

To the outside world, the three of them were nothing but dispensable pawns in a power struggle fueled by pride.

"I wish they never found us," whispered Rin with rising anger. "Then Len wouldn't be having these nightmares."

Len shook his head. He did not want to reveal to his sister that the dreams had already plagued him long before they were removed from the orphanage. He knew that if Rin ever found out, she would spend sleepless nights watching over him. The last thing he wanted was to cause his beloved twin any more grief.

"It was the same for me," said Miku quietly as she gently released Len. She tiredly shuffled back on the large, comfortable bed the Sacrifices shared, her black ears slightly folded in remembrance of despair. "It seems to be a trait that many Sacrifices share. Before I met Luka, I would experience the same dream every night of someone calling out my name. They did not stop until the day the two of us became partners."

Although they had not known Miku for very long, the twins loved her like an older sister. An experienced Sacrifice, she knew the suffering their kind was compelled to endure, but the torture did not erase her optimism. That was, until the death of the partner whose glasses she religiously wore. Now, the shadows of past memories haunted her pretty features and the exuberant nature that characterized her was slowly fading away.

All that was left were scars that continue to bleed and refuse to heal.

"I have never had those types of dreams," said Rin with a tinge of hope. Her ears twitched frantically and her tail lashed from side to side like a whip, reflecting her mood. "Does that mean I am a failure of a Sacrifice?"

Miku and Len smiled at Rin's almost cheerful tone. The yellow-haired girl's eyes were bright with excitement at the prospect of a defect she could potentially take advantage of. Her enthusiasm turned into an undignified squawk as Miku gently tickled her black ears and Len lightly pulled on her tail. "What was that for?"

"I'm sorry Rin, but also long as these ears and tail are attached to us, we are chained to our roles. As much as we struggle and fight..." Miku's expression saddened as the sentence faded. She pulled a small black stuffed animal to her lap, the last remaining relic from a childhood that she was ripped away from. She stared down at the toy as if it had the ability to change the past. "... being unable to love hurts the most."

Rin's eyebrows furrowed with worry as she finally released her twin. Everyone knew the story of Luka and Miku, who at fifteen and twelve years of age became the strongest Fighter-Sacrifice team to ever to serve under Queen Ann's authority. For five long years, they decimated entire platoons of Prince Len's soldiers. The strength of their bond ended during the last fierce battle when Luka, who realized that she had overtaxed Miku's limits after fighting for almost a full day without pause, forcibly severed their connection to save her Sacrifice's life.

By considering her partner's well being and treating Miku as more than a shield, Luka herself had fallen to the enemy's blade.

But instead of receiving a warrior's honor for services rendered, Miku only met with condescension and malicious ridicule as the result of Luka's death. Despite the triumphs they had brought to their allegiance, all anyone could see were the laws that they had violated.

Only two laws exist that govern the bond between Fighter and Sacrifice. The first rule is that once bonded and until one dies, neither a Sacrifice nor a Fighter can abandon their duties regardless of the circumstances. Deserting one's position was equivalent to committing treason.

The second rule rejects the possibility of falling in love. Love is a madness that weakens, blinds, and compromises the priorities of even the strongest of soldiers. It has no place in war.

Luka and Miku were found irrefutably guilty of both sins.

But as one of the last remaining Sacrifices, Miku was too important to take out of commission. As there was no history of a Fighter ever dying before their Sacrifice, there was still hope that Miku would be able to bond with another.

"Miku... is what they say true? Are you really able to bond with someone else?" asked Rin as she crawled closer to the teal-haired older girl. From a young age, she had always been the more curious, more reckless twin. She lacked the ability to read the atmosphere and always spoke her mind, allowing instinct to govern her actions.

In terms of potential as a Sacrifice, Rin's strength and durability made her of the highest quality. To everyone else, Miku, with her blemished history, and Len, considered to be weaker of the twins, only seemed to pale in comparison.

For a long moment, Miku continued to stare down at the doll on her lap. When she finally looked back up to Rin, her eyes were dead to the world. "I am tired of fighting, Rin. I do not want to be bound to another Fighter and be made to walk on the battlefield again. But after so many years at Luka's side, living without a Fighter feels like it has no meaning."

"Is there any way to stop being a Sacrifice?" asked Len quietly.

Miku shook her head sadly, glancing at the door as if she feared that someone could be listening. When she spoke again, her voice was barely above a whisper. "That is not a topic that can be spoken of. We are considered to be too rare and dangerous to be set free. That is why our Fighters are meant to serve as our partners as well as our guardians."

Len could not stop another question from escaping. "How do we know if someone is our Fighter? How can we be absolutely certain that they are the right one when there are so many people in the world?"

Miku's mysterious smile was edged with pain. "You will know. The ability to choose is the only power that is given to us as Sacrifices. But should we continue to reject a bond, we are the only ones who will suffer in the end."

"It is unfair."

Len watched his sister warily, recognizing the hard edge on her tone. It was the same tone she used to speak to Queen Ann before the woman whisked them away from the only home they had ever known. "Rin?"

"If I had a choice..." Rin ignored her brother's questioning gaze as she leaped from the bed and picked up a white blanket that had fallen to the floor. She whipped it around herself as if she was a knight and the cloth her cape. She struck what she believed to be a heroic pose and bowed gallantly before her audience. The elaborate tapestries and rich decorations that surrounded them faded in comparison to the brilliant smile on her face. "I've decided. Miku, Len, neither of you will ever have to worry again. I will be your Fighter!"

The girl's declaration appeared so random and impossible that despite their reservations, Miku and Len could not help but succumb to the fits of laughter that possessed them. Moments later, the contagious noise affected Rin and the three Sacrifices fell on the bed feeling more light-hearted than they could ever remember being.

Len soon calmed down enough to warn his twin. "Rin, please be careful, those are dangerous words you speak.

But Rin's only reply was to shrug carelessly. "Even if someone heard me, there is not much they can do to further cage me."

"You will have to find a way to get rid of your ears and tail first, Rin!" giggled Miku.

"I will," replied Rin. "I promise. If I am to die, it will be protecting the two of you."

As Len's eyes met Rin's, his heart stopped in horror when he saw the true strength of his twin's resolve.

* * *

Kiyoteru had no love for Queen Ann or Prince Leon, but his deep respect for the previous king compelled him to succeed his father as Royal Historian. Sequestered in his office library, he saw little company aside from his quill, an inkwell, and an endless stream of words on paper. He took no sides and participated in no debates during the ten-year war, preferring to write history from an objective position. Because of his detachment, no one questioned his position in the castle.

But despite his academic nature, he still had his own opinions and his own feelings of joy, sorrow, and anger. And for the last five years, all such emotions had been buried under a thick layer of utter disgust from the treatment of the kingdom's Sacrifices. That was why when a resolute young girl appeared at his door, black ears and tail perked and blue eyes blazing with purpose, he could not turn her away.

"I heard that you might be able to help me."

It was not a question. Kiyoteru glanced up to see one half of the twin Sacrifices that were recently found. His normally blank expression softened with pity for her future. "It depends on what you have come here for."

"These ears and this tail," said Rin as she pointed to the mentioned features. "Tell me how to get rid of them."

The quill in Kiyoteru's hand slipped, smearing black ink on the priceless tome that he had been translating. But instead of scrambling to prevent the damage from spreading, he stood stone still at the girl's request.

"Do you understand what you are saying?" asked Kiyoteru in a voice that was several octaves below his normal tone. Through the years, he had expected at least one Sacrifice to search for a way to change their fate, but this girl was the first to ask him for assistance. "Why do you think it is possible to change what you are? And why would you think that I would know how to help you?"

"I do not," Rin hissed and strode up to him until she was only a hand's breadth away. "But if anyone knows if it is possible, it would be the person with the most information in the kingdom. And from what I have heard, that would be you."

A small thread of annoyance caused Kiyoteru to frown, but it was quickly replaced by interest. "And if I told you I cannot? What reason do I have to help you?"

Rin's eyes narrowed as she stepped back and quickly walked towards the large window in Kiyoteru's office. She looked out and down to survey the view from the seventh floor of the castle with grave satisfaction. "It is a far drop from here to the ground. But Sacrifices do not tend to live long lives anyway, is that not right?"

Kiyoteru balked and stood quickly, knocking over his chair to the ground in urgency. "What are you saying? Why would the death of yet another fleeting Sacrifice matter to me?"

"If it did not matter, you would not sound so alarmed." Rin situated herself precariously on the windowsill as the light wind ruffled her hair and clothes. It seemed like every little movement would upset her balance and send her hurtling down to her death. "Whether you help me or not, the queen will lose at least one Sacrifice."

"Stop this nonsense!"

"Do I look like I am trying to humor you?" snapped Rin in a demeanor that clashed with the innocence of her features. "I would rather die by my own hands than die while chained to another like a dog. And if I cannot save Len or Miku, then this would be fitting punishment for failing them."

"Enough! I will attempt to help you, but only this once!" yelled Kiyoteru as he sighed in resignation and pulled a bulging folio out from a hidden compartment in his desk. He knew that he would come to regret the deceitful action, but he could no longer stand by and do nothing. "There may be a way but it is dangerous, untested, and can have unforeseen consequences. But if you can accept these terms, then I will tell you. You are stronger than the other two and may survive through this."

"There is no choice in the matter. I am prepared," replied Rin with a tiny nod of appreciation. "Thank you."

"It is too early to profess your gratitude. But if you would truly like to thank me, please get down from there."

* * *

Gakupo and Kaito bowed with their right hands over their hearts as they stood before Lord Yuma, Queen Ann's highest ranked knight. Although Yuma was slight in form with hair the color of the roses that bloomed in the palace gardens, he was known to be a merciless warrior and a lone wolf on the battlefield. His office reflected his character, for aside from the necessary desk and chair, the only decorations the walls held were blades of varying sizes and shapes.

By the queen's order, he had been given the task of serving as the Fighters' guide. He clinically appraised the two men before him, noting the highlights in their hair and the quality of the swords at their waist. After a long moment of contemplation, his amber eyes reflected a mild satisfaction. "I will not waste words when it is evidently clear that you understand what you are here for."

When the two nodded their acknowledgement, Yuma continued. "I am sure that the academy has made you aware of the rules that would bind you to your Sacrifices. Make sure not to break them. These may be the last Sacrifices that exist, so try your best not to bleed them dry too quickly."

Yuma handed two wire-framed glasses to each man with an ominous warning in his eyes. "Wear these at all times when you are with your Sacrifices."

Both men obediently fitted the delicate frames on the bridge of their noses, but Kaito could not erase the questioning look on his face. This was not a requirement that they were made aware of in the academy. "Lord Yuma, may I be given permission to speak?"

"If you must," said Yuma as he returned to his seat and regained his unaffected attitude.

"Are we to assume that there is a purpose to these?" asked Kaito as touched a finger to his.

Neither man expected for Yuma to sigh and turn his back to them. The next time he spoke, the two Fighters were stunned by the amount of suppressed pain that his voice contained. "You will understand soon enough. If you do not want to meet Luka's fate and lose your rationality, never look your Sacrifice straight in their eyes. That is the greatest mistake that you could possibly make.

"Take these few hours to get your final affairs in order. You will not be bothered. The next time you are called, you must be prepared to face your responsibilities."

With that last piece of advice, the two were dismissed and escorted by a young page named Piko to a secluded waiting room.

The room reflected the rest of the castle, richly decorated and seemingly out of touch with reality. Paintings of past conquests hung on the walls, framed by gold and glowing candlelight. Tall windows ran from the floor to the ceiling but were covered by heavy velvet curtains as if to hide the outside world. Two plush chairs served as the main pieces of furniture in the room, readied for their comfort.

Here, they were to stay until their Sacrifices are prepared. It could take hours or it could take days, but all they could do was wait.

Kaito and Gakupo nodded to Piko as the white-haired page bowed and left the room. Neither man noticed that the boy had not closed the door entirely as they were entirely preoccupied with their own thoughts.

"It is difficult to breathe." Kaito's composure crumbled as he walked the short distance to one of the chairs and promptly collapsed on it. He quickly unfastened the buttons of his coat and removed his sword from his belt. Ever since they had entered the castle, like the breaking of a dam, the mild agitation in his mind furiously roared into life. "There is something suffocating about this place."

Gakupo did not fare better as he sighed and rubbed his temples in an attempt to ease the pain. "We seem to be learning certain aspects of our roles today that they had not readied us for. I hunger, but I do not know for what. The only thing of which I am certain is if I do not find it soon, I will go mad."

"I seem to already be past that point, Gakupo," rasped Kaito as if his tongue was sandpaper against the roof of his mouth. "I am afraid to think of what terrible wrongs we had done in a past life to sentence us to this litany of torture. Is that why Fighters and Sacrifices cannot love? Because they become far too deranged to recognize what it is to want to protect someone? Or are we simply isolated cases?"

Even through his own torment, Gakupo could tell that they were slowly reaching the breaking point of madness. And so, he approached Kaito in the only way they knew would pierce through the fog and momentarily appease their yearning. "Kaito, listen to me before you say another word."

The blue-haired man scrutinized his taller friend through his glasses and slowly allowed calm to settle over his features. When he felt his reason return, he grasped a strand of dark lilac hair and brought it to his lips in gratitude. "I am sorry."

Gakupo sighed as he gently slipped a hand under the edge of Kaito's open coat to touch the man's warm skin. Kaito sighed at the gentle caress, but his eyes held no spark of lust, only a profound sense of impending loss that Gakupo knew was mirrored on his own. "This is the last time, Kaito. We are about to spend the last days of our lives tethered to someone we do not know. Given the choice, I would rather have this hollow affection over strength that is bereft of passion."

Kaito smiled in return as he carefully pulled off his glasses to view the other man without obstruction. "And I as well."

* * *

Len had begun to wonder to where Miku and Rin had disappeared when he heard soft knocking against wood. When he opened the door, two castle maids quietly filed in, each with a large bundle in their arms. "May I help you?"

"Please pardon our intrusion." The girls' replies were almost mechanical as they averted their eyes from accidentally resting on Len's ears or tail. They quickly set the bundles down on the bed before stepping back to allow Len to see what they had brought.

Len stared blankly at the two elegant dresses that lay side by side. The one to the left was a gauzy snow-white color while the one to the right was the color of the midnight sky. Strings of pearls were artfully threaded on the beautiful garments and the finest lace was stitched on the hems. The sizes of both appeared too small to be for Miku.

"I am sorry, but Rin is not here at the moment."

The two girls exchanged glances doubtfully before one of them shook her head. "One of them is for you."

"I am not a girl," was Len's flat reply. When he noticed their dubious stares, he quickly stripped off the white shift he wore to prove his point. "I am a boy."

But instead of the surprise he expected, the girls only nodded and moved to pick up the black dress. "We understand, sir. But these are Her Majesty's orders."

Before Len could speak another word in protest, he was swathed in dark silk and lace. The bright gold of his hair and the paleness of his skin contrasted wonderfully against the black fabric. Despite their misgivings, the two girls shyly smiled and murmured countless words of approval once they had finished their ministrations.

But as Len looked in the mirror, all he could see was another fragile doll that Queen Ann had added to her collection. A mannequin that she could move at her will. It made him ill to imagine seeing Rin—his tenacious, animated sister—be reduced to such a level. "I will go and search for Rin." _To warn her._

One of the maids cried for him to come back and that it was not safe to walk around without an escort, but her worries fell to deaf ears as Len walked out of the room without so much as a backwards glance.

As he walked down the dim corridors of the Fighter/Sacrifice wing of the castle, he shuddered as he passed countless open doors. Each room was similar to the one he currently stayed in, but in comparison, these did not show any evidence of recent use. Each room was testament to a Sacrifice who had fallen before him. There seemed to be hundreds of doors, but Len looked into each of them as if a mantle of obligation rested on his shoulders.

Len's original mission to find his sister was momentarily forgotten and he spent what seemed like hours exploring the quarters without meeting a single living soul. It was no wonder that the rumors of the deserted wing being cursed were so popular among the dwellers of the castle. But Len thought that it suited him just fine.

The wan light that streamed through the barred windows gradually grew weaker as the afternoon slowly gave way to twilight. The darkened halls only looked less welcoming the longer Len stayed and his slow footsteps resounded like a beating heart against the marble floor.

"Perhaps it is time I returned. Rin and Lady Miku would be worried," Len murmured as he turned a corner. But instead of another continuous corridor of empty rooms, a door at the end was open just enough to allow candlelight from within to glow against the edges of the wooden frame.

His curiosity piqued, Len approached the room with care. When he heard soft voices from the other side, he laid a hand against the door and gingerly pushed it wider—just enough to see without disturbing anyone inside. But as his vision focused, he almost wished that he could be struck blind.

Len's eyes widened in shock as he watched the figures of two men as they connected in a fashion only meant for lovers. Violet and blue twined around each other, igniting the atmosphere in the small room in stark contrast to the magnificent but severe halls that surrounded them. Flickering candles reflected firelight and shadows against pale skin and wire-framed glasses that were strewn aside, abandoned in their carnal act.

In these times, it was not rare in Krypthon for two lovers to be of the same sex. No one cared when the last thing people wished for was to have a child born during a time of war. But the lightened locks of hair on each man as well as the white uniforms and golden swords that lay discarded to the side gave a deeper connotation to their activities.

The two men were Fighters.

_**"I... never said I loved either of you..."**_

As if scorched, Len softly hissed and removed his hand from the door. The single line resounded in his mind as if willing him to unearth a memory he would rather forget. He stumbled back in shame and retreated in a flurry of golden hair and black silk, his feline ears folded back in consternation. He did not run in toward any particular direction—all he knew what that he had to get as far away as quickly as he could. With every step, a burning feeling filled his lungs and a terrible, piercing agony cut through the left side of his neck as if reliving a ghostly wound. He gasped for air at the biting sensation and fell to his knees just as he reached a familiar hall that led to the Fighter/Sacrifice audience hall.

"Those two... from my dreams..."

Len shook his head to banish the idea and glanced back to see the small, black object that had caused him to lose his footing. A single beady green eye stared back at him as he recognized the stuffed animal that Miku sometimes carried in her arms. He pushed the diminishing pain to the back of his mind, picked up the toy and held it before him. "What are you doing here? Lady Miku would never leave you—"

"What have you done!"

Queen Ann's furious yell echoed through the hall, startling Len who almost dropped the precious keepsake in his hands. He immediately stood up and walked quickly through the open gate at the other side of the hall. As soon as he passed through the gold-trimmed black and white arch, his blood ran cold.

Rage colored Queen Ann's beautiful face a flush crimson as she stood on a flight of steps that lead to the throne room. Her teeth were bared as she shrieked obscenities and raised her right hand to strike. Her blonde hair, normally arranged in the height of fashion, was in full disarray. A small coalition of guards waited in formation behind her, swords and bows at the ready and aimed at two girls who stood before them.

Miku held her hand against a crimson cheek as she crumpled to the ground, her falling tears leaving dark spots on the dove-gray dress that she wore. Her gold wire glasses hung askew from the force of the queen's slap, but her wide, teal eyes were focused on the golden-haired child who stood protectively before her.

"You will not touch Miku," snapped Rin as she gently pulled the glasses from Miku's face and placed them on the bridge of her own nose. Tension and pride radiated from her earless, tail-less body and she glared up hatefully at the queen. "You will not touch Len. From this day forward, I am their Fighter."

Miku gasped as familiar warmth she did not think she would feel again after Luka's death rose within her chest. She stared up at Rin in wonder. Without the ears and tail, Rin looked and acted every inch the Fighter she claimed to be. The only differences were the missing lock of lightened hair and the official white uniform and golden blade of a recognized Fighter. "Rin, please stop! I accept you, but I do not want to see anyone else get hurt!"

Len stepped forward and blindly reached a hand out to the two girls, but their backs were turned to his direction and they did not notice his arrival. He wanted to yell at his sister, but he was unable to voice any words as the pain from before returned with a vengeance. He could only rush forward and pray that he was not too late.

"Stop your nonsense! A Fighter can only be bonded to one Sacrifice! You are here as the latter—a respectable position for someone like you and your brother who had nothing in the world! And now you dare toss my generosity aside and break the law?" In her fury, Queen Ann grasped a glass vase filled with red roses and hurled it at full strength toward Rin. "Know your place!"

But the vase never reached Rin or Miku. With only seconds to spare, Len dropped the black doll, stepped in front of the two girls and raised his hands in defense. The glass brutally impacted on his arms, showering him with shattered fragments and uncut thorns. The fine cloth he wore protected most of his skin from the knife-sharp rain, but a stray sliver caught his right eye. Len grit his teeth and quelled the urge to cry out from the lancing pain. When he lowered his arms, a stream of blood carved its way down the curve of his right cheek in a mockery of tears.

"Len!" Miku gasped and froze upon seeing Len's face. "Your eye..."

Rin raised a hand to her own right eye and stared at her brother. Fury built up in her chest as she watched Len nonchalantly wipe away the blood and sloppily arrange his hair to cover the injury. She lunged forward past Len with arms extended, aiming for Queen Ann as if she meant to tear the woman to pieces with her bare hands. "You witch! How dare you hurt my brother!"

"Rin, enough!" Len tried to stop his sister, but he had not yet adjusted to the change in depth perception of only seeing through one eye. Rin easily slipped past him.

Queen Ann smiled nastily as the former Sacrifice approached. "Stop her."

At her command, the archer to her right raised his bow. He was thankful that the orders only instructed him to injure and scare the girl if need be, not to strike true and kill her. Although it was widely believed that Sacrifices were not humans, in his eyes, the three before him only looked like helpless children. With a silent apology, he let the arrow fly and struck Rin's arm.

Instead of drawing only one cry, two voices sounded out as the arrow pierced Rin's pale skin. All eyes—including Rin's—turned in disbelief toward Miku, who clutched her arm in the same place. Blood slowly seeped between both girls' fingers from mirrored wounds. Miku and Rin exchanged shocked stares at the unexpected phenomenon.

"This was just like when Luka, but—"

The damage transferred to the Sacrifice, but also remained on the Fighter.

"No..." Len was the first to recognize what had happened, but he did not have time to grieve as time was against him. His remaining eye narrowed and he drew Rin back, dismissing her shriek as he pulled on her injured arm. He situated his body before them defensively as the queen fit the pieces of the puzzle together.

"Only one arrow was shot... now could..." muttered Queen Ann. She glanced up to see the two bewildered girls huddled together behind the youngest Sacrifice. She noted the slightly cracked glasses on Rin's face with disgust. The two girls gave off the air of a bonded Fighter/Sacrifice pair, but the duplicate injuries on both seemed to refute the claim. When realization dawned, the enormity of the situation caused her to stagger back in dismay. She laughed humorlessly as her face paled in revulsion. "You have ruined yourselves! This is the consequence of your foolish actions, Rin! A Sacrifice denying its true self in order to become a Fighter? Now all I have are two bonded abominations who can only share each other's injuries!"

Rin snarled, her sharp canine teeth were still apparent despite the disappearance of her other traits. "The only one who has ruined anything is you!"

"I will not tolerate being spoken to in such a manner," said Queen Ann tightly. She turned her back to them and nodded to the guards. "I have no use for failed Sacrifices. Kill the two. It should be simple."

The guards tensed at the command. "But Your Majesty-"

"Do not question me."

"You will let them go." Len's expression was pure glacial ice as he stared up at the queen. "If you have no use for them, you will let Rin and Lady Miku go."

Queen Ann whirled around and opened her mouth to give the orders, but the words died on her tongue when she realized who had spoken. With Miku and Rin's irreparable state, Len was the last Sacrifice left in her arsenal. She loathed acquiescing to a Sacrifice's insolence, but she could not deny that she still had use for him. "And what if I do not?"

"Then you will not lose two Sacrifices," replied Len slowly as if he weighted the consequence of each spoken word. He grasped the collar of the dress he wore with a pale hand as if to deny himself the ability to breathe. "You will lose three."

"NO! Len, I can't let her keep you! I swear that I will grow strong enough for you both!" shouted Rin as tears streamed down her face in horror, but Miku's hold on her was tight. "Miku let go of me!"

But Miku did not loosen her embrace. Like Rin, she wanted nothing more than to take Len and run away from the castle, but even she could recognize their complete disadvantage. In some form Miku could not explain, she had bonded to Rin. As much as she adored both siblings equally, as a Sacrifice—even to a false Fighter—she was now instinctually drawn to protect one over the other.

Queen Ann and Len glared at each other, both willing the other to break. The air in the room was charged with tension as the two continued their silent battle of wills. But in the end, Queen Ann averted her eyes first.

"Banish the two."

With those words, the guards quickly surrounded the two girls, forming a barricade between them and Len. The golden-haired boy only stood still and smiled sadly, bitterly.

Rin was hysterical as the men ushered her and Miku out. She scratched and punched the men as she tried to claw her way back to her brother, but her strength was lacking. "Len! I won't accept this! Len!"

"Take care of yourselves," Len whispered through Rin's anguish. When he could no longer bear to watch, he closed his good eye and turned away. He did not open it until the echoes of Rin's cries could no longer be heard.

"Your will is stronger than I had anticipated. Perhaps I misjudged your aptitude after all," mused Queen Ann as she walked down the steps toward Len. She observed with mild interest as Len picked up the small, black doll he had dropped earlier and held it close to his chest. He looked like a lost child who clung to the last remaining memories of happier times. "Make yourself presentable. We now have two potential Fighters and only one Sacrifice. You now have a choice which one you would prefer. Is that not fortunate?"

Len did not reply to the queen's declaration nor did he show any signs of acknowledgment as she nodded curtly and retired back to her rooms. He stood alone amidst the remnants of shattered glass, blood, and roses, clutching the soft toy to his chest, as the sun set on the horizon.

In that brief moment, the innocent light in Len's eyes flickered and died, replaced by a gleam best described as one of sheer defiance.

* * *

Author's Notes/Disclaimer:

- I hold no rights to Vocaloid or the songs therein. Elements from Yun Kouga's _Loveless _also do not belong to me.

- Lovelessxxx is turning out to be the product of my over-active, hypercritical imagination. This part was very difficult to write (especially Gakupo/Kaito), but it was completed far quicker than anticipated. My plot for this particular arc was originally much simpler, but as I watched the PV repeatedly, the questions kept coming. "What reason can I give to have Len in a dress?", "What's up with the ears and tail?", "Why are Kaito and Gakupo protecting Len in the first place?", "Why did Kaito and Gakupo do such a thing if they loved Len so much?", "If Len cared about both of them, why is he unable to forgive their 'betrayal'?", and "How can I tie this to Setsugetsuka?". The more I thought about it, the more complicated it became.

I really fear that I've made this too heavy for you, the readers (please tell me if it's confusing), but this chapter was necessary to set up the initial background/plot. I didn't want to dive into a storyline with a pre-established bodyguard relationship between the three like in the PV as I felt that there were holes that would be difficult to fill and motivations that could not be fully explained. I wanted something else that drove Len's impetus deeper than feelings of jealousy as a third wheel.

- As always, thank you very much for the lovely reviews. They're great motivation. :)


	5. Second Life : LOVELESSxxx II

The Immoral Memory, The Lost Memory

By: Ashurato

- Second Life : LOVELESSxxx (Part Two) -

* * *

"It is time, are you prepared?"

Yuma's tall, slim figure stood against the door frame of the waiting room. The light gray uniform of a former Fighter and the dim light cast an unhealthy pallor to his skin. His black gloved hands rested on the hilt of a curved, exotic sword sheathed at his waist. The brightest aspect of his form, his stunning golden eyes, assessed the two men for any changes in the few hours since he last saw them.

As if rehearsed, Gakupo and Kaito slowly rose from their chairs. Their own uniforms looked almost impossibly white in comparison to Yuma's. Their postures were rigid as if on constant alert that an enemy could appear at any time. Only the slightly disheveled state of their hair betrayed any evidence of their earlier activities. "Yes sir."

"Good," said Yuma with a curt nod. He paused for a moment before a mild frown crossed his handsome face. "But unfortunately, only one of you will be able to bond with a Sacrifice."

The two men exchanged alarmed glances at the proclamation. This was news to them.

"Permission to speak, sir," murmured Gakupo with a grave tone.

"Granted," replied Yuma with a wave of his hand. There was little he loathed more than the formal ceremony and methods of address that Queen Ann insisted upon. "The both of you can speak freely while we are still in this room."

Neither Gakupo nor Kaito requested an explanation immediately as they thought of the countless ways that one of the Sacrifices could have possibly disappeared. When their ideas and conspiracy theories ran out, their attention shifted back to Yuma.

"What happened?" whispered Kaito as if he feared-and yet hoped for-the answer.

Yuma absently noted that the lightened locks of hair were still present on both men as he deliberated exactly how much he should divulge. Truthfully, he had expected for one of the two to revert back to their non-awakened state just as he had when his own short-lived Sacrifice, Mizki, had died following a particularly brutal skirmish. But he was a warrior, first and foremost. He was hardly an expert in the mechanics behind the Fighter-Sacrifice pairing like Kiyoteru. Although he was pained by Mizki's passing, she was simply too weak to change her tragic fate.

But even he could tell that there was something different about the current situation. Nevertheless, he also knew that there were certain things the men before him did not need to know. The last thing the kingdom needed was for Fighters to reject the last remaining viable Sacrifice they had.

The rose-haired man wondered if the emotional and physical damages that were inflicted upon Len would compromise the boy's abilities as a Sacrifice. After all, Len was considered to be the weaker twin. Then, he banished his thoughts as the hint of a cruel smile shadowed his lips. His only orders were to instruct and to kill. The queen's own self-destructive tendencies were none of his business.

"The older Sacrifice, Rin, rejected her status by removing the appendages that designate her as one. Charged with treason, she has been banished from the Kingdom."

"What?" gasped Gakupo as he took a step back in shock. Such a thing was unheared of!

"Why?" asked Kaito.

"You fail to understand that it is not a matter of why." Yuma shook his head in disdain at the utterly absurd expressions that crossed both men's faces. Their reactions were too open, too honest, and too easily exploited. If they knew what it was like to be a Sacrifice, they would know that banishment or a quick death are infinitely preferable. "It is a question of how she was able to manage such a thing and who had assisted her. If she was able to remove them by herself, she would have done so long before she was brought to the castle." _Kiyoteru, you fool..._

Gakupo's eyebrows knit together in confusion. "Sir, if I may be so bold to ask but from what you have disclosed to us, this incident only accounts for one Sacrifice. The younger twin and Lady Luka's former Sacrifice may still be claimed."

But Kaito had noticed the dark scowl that momentarily flashed across Yuma's face and his hands clenched into fists. "Unless... something else happened."

"Correct. Miku has also been banished along with Rin, leaving us with only one Sacrifice," said Yuma with as much enthusiasm as he would comment on an insect that landed on his sleeve. "Do not ask the reason for I am not at liberty to enlighten you of any more details regarding this affair."

Although the two Fighters had wanted to know more about the unexpected turn of events, they reigned in their curiosity. Other matters required their immediate attention rather than the disobedience and subsequent expulsion of two foolish girls. There remained two Fighters who retained the proof of their awakening, but there was only one Sacrifice.

"How will we know if we are the partner to the remaining Sacrifice?"

A mysterious smile appeared on Yuma's face as he gestured for them to follow him, turned around, and started walking in the direction of the throne room. "You do not. That is the Sacrifice's responsibility and-to a certain extent-will be done at the Sacrifice's own leisure."

"'To a certain extent?'" asked Gakupo as he and Kaito followed Yuma out of their last sanctuary and toward their fate.

"They do not have to choose right away, but if a Sacrifice denies the bond for too long, they will be driven to madness. Be careful of this one. He is the last pawn we have."

The rest of the short journey was spent in silence as only the echoes of their footsteps and light breathing reverberated through the empty corridors. As they passed the large audience hall, Kaito and Gakupo were confused to hear faint noise beneath their boots. Small drops of drying blood and shattered glass dotted the stately white marble, but neither man dared voice his observations when Yuma pressed on without acknowledging the sight.

When they arrived in front of the two large mahogany doors that led to the throne room, Yuma paused and gestured for the two men to proceed. "This is as far as I will take you. I will wait behind these gates until the Sacrifice's decision has been made. Once the Fighter between the two of you has been chosen, the other must report back here to me to be reassigned."

"I understand, Lord Yuma." Both men saluted once more before they turned to open the door. They did not dare glance at each other once more lest their impending separation cause their resolve to fail. They were acutely aware that regardless of who was chosen, this was where they must to part.

With leaden hearts and clenched jaws, they opened the gates.

* * *

White.

There was too much white.

In comparison to the rest of the castle, the room shone like a beacon. It was as if the space robbed the surrounding area of all light in order to blaze more fiercely-like a diamond in a heap of soot. The marble floor reflected the ivory walls and a crystal chandelier blazed like a small sun on the ceiling. In the midst of the blinding glare was Queen Ann, costumed in gold satin, upon her alabaster throne.

Aside from white and gold, the only color in the room was the crimson carpet that ran from the double doors to the dais.

Kiyoteru, the only other soul present, fought the urge to adjust his tight collar and excuse himself from the room as he sat behind a bleached ash-wood desk to the left of the queen. If the ceremony was not so formal and prestigious, he would have been tempted to leave, but the bonding of a Fighter and Sacrifice had become so few and far in between that he felt obligated to record them for posterity. For all he knew, this may be the last ceremony that would ever be performed.

He was completely on edge. After the long hours of research that it took for Rin's ears and tail to be removed, the girl did not spare a moment to advise him of her plans. She had only thanked him and dashed out of the room without another word. He did not know what had become of her until Queen Ann herself visited his quarters.

Without her usual pomp and circumstance, the livid queen ordered all records of Rin and Miku after Luka's death to be destroyed from his written history. Like always, Kiyoteru did not question her commands, but he was surprised by her instructions to remove Miku as well. But before he could delve deeper into his thoughts, the doors at the other side of the room opened to reveal two of the main characters in the unfolding tragedy.

Gracefully, Kiyoteru dipped the tip of his quill into an inkpot and began to write.

* * *

Kaito forced his legs to move in tandem with Gakupo and walk the unnecessarily long distance from the doors to the queen's throne. He was surprised to see that they had arrived before their Sacrifice for aside from the two of them, only Queen Ann and the Royal Historian were present to oversee the ceremony.

When he and Gakupo reached the foot of the stairs, they descended to one knee and offered their fealty. "Your Majesty."

"Welcome," purred Queen Ann, her voice was overly-sweet as she looked down at the two young men before her. Such a pity for them to have awakened as Fighters. But her smile widened when she realized that Len would only be able to choose one. The other, she might keep for herself. "I am relieved for two such handsome men to be chosen to defend our country."

Kaito could feel the queen's gaze as it unashamedly raked across his and Gakupo's bodies as if surveying which cut of steak to have for dinner. He only half-paid attention to the words she spoke as he desperately tried to resist the urge to vomit and shame himself. He spared a glance at Gakupo, and from the man's pale face, he knew that his friend was having similar trouble.

Their distress was dispelled when the soft sound of the opening door caught the queen's attention and caused her to pause. Her coquettish smile turned patronizing and indulgent as she recognized who had entered the room. "Come closer, child."

Then, the sharp, lancing pain of half-forgotten memories assaulted Kaito's mind once again.

**_"When a gilded cage is all you know, the closest thing you have to freedom is to not see the bars that trap you."_**

* * *

Gakupo fared no better as he struggled to remain still and maintain his decorum. All he wanted to do was stand up and turn to face the newcomer. Even without an image in his head, he already felt irresistably drawn to the person. His earlier misgivings were thrown aside as a growing sense of relief and completion pierced the fog of agony that enveloped him.

It was far different and more profound that anything he or Kaito ever felt with each other. But it also brought a different kind of torture.

The Sacrifice's soft, slow footsteps were almost completely muffled by the plush carpet. Without the help of sound, the Gakupo could not discern how much longer he must wait before he could catch a glimpse of the being he may be bonded to for the rest of his life. As the last grains of his patience ran out, a small figure walked past them and the edge of a midnight blue dress entered the edge of his sight.

His eyes slowly followed the dark waterfall of fabric, noting the stiff posture and tiny waist before it settled on the brightest shock of golden hair he had ever seen. To his dismay, he was unable to see the child's face as it was turned to face the queen.

"Is my appearance acceptable?"

Hearing those four words, Gakupo felt the breath leave his lungs as blood raced through his veins. He felt as if he had been desperately running for miles and he was startled to see his vision blur. Although the pain had not cowed him, the feeling of an acute sense of longing brought inexplicable tears to his eyes.

Under the hunger was the indescribable feeling of surging guilt.

**_"Although our correspondence has been short, I hope that my presence before you confirms that I am indeed human."_**

* * *

Len held Miku's doll close to his chest as he walked down the long aisle to the throne. He kept his attention fixed on the red patch covering the blood stain that had tainted the cat's right eye. It mirrored his own features as he found that the shard of glass from earlier had damaged his sight beyond repair. Healers were called, but he had brushed them aside, intent upon maintaining the disfigurement as a reminder of his resolve.

In truth, Len did not have the strength to lament the loss. An eye-his life-was a small price to pay for Rin and Miku's freedom. But as a small gesture of courtesy, per Queen Ann's orders, he washed away the blood and arranged his hair to hide the wound. He knew that she wanted for the Fighters to believe that their Sacrifice was without taint or disability. He curved his lips in the imitation of a cheerful smile but the depth of his remaining eye was frosted over with ice.

After all, the best shields are those without fractures.

A flash of violet and blue caught his attention as he passed between two familiar men. As he thought, the two he had seen before were the ones who would have been his and Rin's Fighters. Like him, they must bow to the law regardless of their prior relations. They had no control over their own futures-that now hinged on Len's decision.

He looked up at Queen Ann and addressed her mildly as if she had not just exiled the two most important people in his life. "Is my appearance acceptable?"

Queen Ann nodded. Her newest doll-despite being male-was a beautiful child. The injury Len received did not at all detract from his looks. If anything, it gave him an air of mystery that made him all the more alluring. "It will do. I expect that you know exactly who your Fighter is."

"I do," replied Len in a definitive manner. He stifled a dry laugh as he sensed both building hope and anxiety from the Fighters behind him.

The queen leaned forward on her throne. Her entire body radiated excitement as she glanced between the two Fighters who knelt unmoving behind Len as would a vulture, intent upon her next meal. "Well, who is it?" snapped the Queen impatiently.

Len gave a charming, closed-eyed smile and bent his head slightly to the right in order to rub his cheek against the black doll in his arms. From Miku's earlier instructions, he knew exactly what was within his rights and powers as a Sacrifice. He may be under the queen's command, but he would make sure hell freezes over before he made it easy for her. He would spare her civility, but he would sooner bite his tongue and die than offer her his obedience.

In time, the queen will understand that it was not only Miku and Rin who were banished from the castle that day. The kind, complaisant Len was gone-replaced by a changeling who only desired reprisal. "I refuse to answer."

Kiyoteru's hand stilled and his face shot up at the young child's sudden impudence. He had thought that only Rin was capable of such audacity. With a quick shake of his head, he reigned in his awe and returned back to his writing, but his quill no longer glided on ivory paper as fluidly as before.

Queen Ann's beautiful face fell blank with shock before it twisted with hideous anger. She had not counted on the fact that Len could exhibit the same brazen nature as his sister under his thick layer of composure. She opened her mouth to insist on his answer, but the rules that govern the bond between a Fighter and Sacrifice flashed through her mind. Len was allowed take as long as his rationality would last before deciding on a Fighter. If he rejects the bond for too long, he would slowly be driven insane.

She settled for pursing her lips into a tight, grim line and stood rigidly from her throne. She will let the child think he has the upper hand for now. Then, she will watch him lose his mind and beg to perish for her sake.

For as much as the queen loved beautiful things, there was nothing she loved more than power. "Do as you will. In the meanwhile, those Fighters of yours can teach you some manners. I will not have an uneducated urchin for something as important as a Sacrifice." With another furious glare and a whirl of shining silk, she retired back to her rooms.

Kiyoteru sighed and quickly picked up his writing implements from the smooth desk. Before he headed towards the door, he turned back once more to the smiling Sacrifice and the two frozen Fighters who had not yet risen to their feet. He approached Len and lowered his voice to barely above a whisper. "Your sister wanted to save you."

"Please refrain from mentioning Rin or Miss Miku within these walls," said Len with a light yet commanding tone. "It disgraces such lovely names to be mingled with the same air that houses such filth."

"If you do not choose, you will be driven mad," whispered Kiyoteru almost desperately. "Surely you are aware! I can-" Kiyoteru involuntarily grabbed Len's shoulder in an attempt to make him understand the severity of the situation. His action caused the boy to drop the doll he held, but the two swords that instantly pointed themselves at his throat arrested any further movement. He carefully released Len and let the hand drop lifelessly to his side.

Len replied, completely unfazed by Kaito and Gakupo's sudden reactions to defend him, but his smile vanished and he became as unreadable as stone. "I will not abandon my status as a Sacrifice until I have accomplished what must be done. Now if you would be so kind, I must speak with my Fighters."

"Just... stay safe," said Kiyoteru as if it pained him. Without another word, he frowned and walked out of the room as quickly as his legs would allow.

Although the man's thoughts were well-intentioned, Len could no longer spare any emotion to be affected by Kiyoteru's worries. If he left, he knew that he would be pursued. Here, he could retain at least some fleeting semblance of control while protecting Miku and Rin. He replaced the blank look on his face with a slight smile, hardened his heart, and turned his attention to the two Fighters who slowly sheathed their swords and dropped to their knees once more.

"Hello," Len walked forward and crouched down to eye-level with the two men. "You don't have to keep kneeling. Her Majesty has already left."

But Kaito and Gakupo kept their attention firmly fixed to the floor and they dared not look at Len. Their hearts pounded furiously and every inch of their skin yearned to touch. They were not even bonded yet the raw ferocity of their desire to hold and safeguard the Sacrifice took their breath away.

_Perhaps they did not hear me_, thought Len, knowing that his voice was not exactly suited for volume. He reached out his hands, laid them on the top of each man's head and marveled at the fine blue and violet strands that flowed through his fingers. For a second, he felt a thread of sympathy grow before he crushed it with bitterness once more.

Kaito was the first to move. He removed his gloves, reached up and guided the small, delicate hand to rest against his cheek. He let out the deep sigh of contentment that had built up inside him, but heeding Yuma's warning, he dared not open his eyes. "Please excuse my selfishness, but I beg you to allow me to stay like this a moment longer."

Len's tone turned quizzical as he spread his fingers to lightly caress the blue-haired Fighter's warm skin. "Are you not uncomfortable as you are?" His velveteen ears twitched with surprise when a sharp gasp of pleasure was drawn from the man's lips at the slight movement.

"Forgive me. I can try, but I feel that my legs would not have the strength to support me at the moment."

But Len did not have the opportunity to process the implications of the sentence before he felt two large, comforting hands enclosing his own. A curtain of dark lilac hair hid Gakupo's face as he pressed a light kiss on the inside of Len's palm before curling his fingers around the warm impression. He then raised his handsome face in wonderment, but like Kaito, his eyes remained tightly closed.

"I have been searching for you my entire life-no, perhaps even before that. I feel like the purpose of my whole being is to revolve around you."

"You do not know who I am and I do not know who you are," said Len, taken aback by how his truthful words felt inexplicably like lies. The sincerity of both men's tones both warmed yet discomforted him. But his remembrance of witnessing their earlier activities quelled any desire to draw strength from their reassurances.

To Len, his role is nothing more than an interloper-an unwelcome force whose sole purpose is nothing more than to sever a bond that has already been formed.

"I am here to serve you."

"I am not looking for a servant," said Len as he pulled his hands away and picked up the precious doll that lay on the floor. "I am a Sacrifice. If anything, my purpose for living is to suffer for my Fighter and for this Kingdom."

A sound that imitated a growl rumbled from both men's throats at the very idea. "I will not let that come to pass!" Kaito swore.

An uncharacteristically severe frown darkened Gakupo's face. "I would sooner die than allow any harm to come to you."

If the two men had allowed themselves to see, they would have been taken aback by the calculating gleam in Len's eye. They could not anticipate that for all their innocent image of their young Sacrifice, Len's heart only beat to the rhythm of reprisal.

"It will not happen. Please allow me to be clear. It was not in jest when I told the Queen that I refuse to name my Fighter. I never had any intentions of choosing between the two of you. You are free to live as you will. I will not chain you down."

The imposing words hung in the large, empty room, and bore down heavily upon Kaito and Gakupo who were already unable to rise from their knees. Freedom was the last thing they wanted from the one they had waited for since they could remember. But all they could hear was the soft rustling of cloth as Len passed between them and headed toward the door.

Len reached for the golden handle, but a warm hand upon his own arrested any further motion. He froze where he stood as violet strands fell upon him from above. His heart skipped a beat when he realized just how much taller both men were in comparison to himself, especially Gakupo.

"It is too late now," whispered Gakupo. "Giving me freedom would be the same as denying my existence. The only way for me to live is to be allowed to be your shield. I am your Fighter and will do all in my power to protect you."

"You are not the only Fighter who has awakened. Don't get carried away when you have not yet been chosen, Gakupo." Kaito's voice was tinged with a hint of steel that was unfamiliar to his long-time companion. The man's normally cheerful tone contained an ugly note of jealously that was reflected by the slight tightening of his mouth.

Gakupo slowly turned his head but did not release Len's small hand from his grasp. He opened his eyes to meet a much colder blue than he was familiar with. He was not aware that the same territorial expression had manifested on his own visage. "And neither have you."

As Len feared, the two men who had so tenderly held each other only a few hours earlier now scarcely acknowledge and-at the slightest provocation-would tear into the other like wild beasts.

"I would appreciate if you did not argue before me," said Len in a soft but commanding tone before he gently liberated his hand and turned to walk back toward Kaito. He stood before the chastised man for long moments before he remarked on something that plagued his mind. "Why do neither of you open your eyes when you look at me? Are Fighters all blind? Or is the sight of me offensive in any way?"

As soon as the words left Len's lips, the same sharp sudden pain returned but disappeared in an instant. In what felt like fog being pierced, or a dam breaking, Len's eye widened in shock.

**_"People rely too much on sight that they fail to distinguish the difference between what is real and what is expected."_**

Forgetting Yuma's warning, both men immediately opened their eyes and started to voice their reassurances before catching themselves. Gakupo, who luckily stood behind Len, was only able to see sun-gold hair and blue-black silk. Kaito, on the other hand, was not so fortunate. All of the words and excuses he prepared to say dried up on his tongue as he gazed down upon a fey-like figure through his glasses. Black feline ears topped golden hair that fell haphazardly, framing a face as smooth and unblemished as the finest porcelain. But the bottomless, sky-blue eye that looked unflinching-yet almost tenderly-up at him pained him with its inexplicable familiarity.

"... Len..."

Gakupo and Len were taken aback by the hopeful, but almost anguished cry that was torn from Kaito's lips. Gakupo radiated a mild confusion from the name and Len's sudden amusement was less apparent, but the utter relief that pervaded every inch of Kaito's frame was most unexpected.

"Len," repeated Kaito breathily in wonderment. "That is your name."

"How... no one has provided us with that information..." Gakupo murmured to himself, still too stunned to react negatively to the situation. But when the Sacrifice turned to glance at him, he could not deny that "Len" was the young child's name. Every fiber of his being screamed and begged for him to understand and accept what his mind could not completely rationalize. After all, the bond between Fighter and Sacrifice itself is far from what can be considered "natural".

_The bonding was proceeding much faster than I anticipated_, thought Len as his grip on Miku's doll tightened in consternation, _but I cannot give up now_. Kaito knew his name instinctively; the first sign of a forming bond, and the glazed look in Gakupo's lilac eyes betrayed his realization as well.

Len was well aware of the futility of his position, as Miku and Rin's freedom was only guaranteed so long as Queen Ann still deemed him necessary. He walked a very fine line. Rejecting the bond for too long would not only strain his mind but also strain the Queen's miniscule patience. As much as he loathed the part he must play, he must force himself to dance on the Queen's palm for a little while longer.

But as he thought of the two men who stood before him, he felt his chest throb painfully with a mixture of sympathy and what felt vaguely of longing. They would offer their entire selves to him, but nothing they can give could mend something that was already broken beyond repair. And with the maelstrom that currently churned in his mind, the timing of events could not possibly be any worse.

Kaito bit his lip as if weighing what words to say. "My name is-"

"I already know." Len's reply was bluntly nonchalant, but his smile was sad and distant. When he spoke again, his voice carried a tone of finality. "But even knowing that, I will not accept either of you."

"But it is rumored that you would fall to madness."

"And that it why such things are called rumors rather than truths," said Len as walked back to the door and pulled the golden handle to finally open the way to the hall. He was tired and wanted nothing more than to rest and reassess the situation.

Kaito frowned. "I cannot simply stand by and watch that happen."

"Certainly a pity, but it would be of my own decision. However..." Len's smile was enigmatic as he coyly glanced back at both men before the door closed and hid his figure from their view. "Feel free to try to change my mind."

_Kaito-dono... Gakupo-dono..._

_It is good to see you again._

Len feigned indifference, but as he closed the door, he allowed his shaking knees to buckle under him. He fully expected to meet the floor, but a sturdy arm steadied his waist and kept him upright. "Ah, thank you." He turned to his supporter in gratitude, but when he saw who held him, he could no longer suppress the surging memories.

Len's world quickly faded to black as Yuma stared down quizzically at the young Sacrifice who collapsed bonelessly into his arms. An insistent nagging at the back of his mind prodded like a memory that struggled to surface, but as time passed, the feeling slowly faded. After a few moments, a different sort of confusion finally voiced itself into words.

"... this is a boy?"

* * *

_**If I completely kill off this softly reverberating echo in my bosom, will I finally have comfort and ease?**_

* * *

Author's Notes:

- Thank you very much for the great reviews as always. Apologies for a shorter chapter considering how many months have passed. This part was a lot more of a struggle to write. It was partly because I realized how I kept on forcing myself to keep chapters that are similar in length when I absolutely did not have to and my dissatisfaction caused me to scrap ideas several times. Stupid me. The next chapter will have more interactions between the three, so it should be a bit more light-hearted and fun (a bit anyway).

- As for the ears and tail disappearing, it's not necessarily a sign of loss of virginity in this universe. It's just a mark that identifies a certain number of people who have the ability to form a "bond" with someone. As with Kiyoteru and Rin showed, there are ways to remove them, but there are dire consequences in doing so.


End file.
